Routine-free rapport. Newbies only. January 31, 2008
Posted by Niels in : Dating coach , add a commentTired of meaningless interactions and phone calls that go straight to voicemail? Ready to build an emotional connection that actually means something? Do you want to keep conversation flowing easily and naturally without resorting to gimmicks, games, and routines?
This Friday I’ll be doing a big picture overview with an emphasis on rapport. You’ll learn to eliminate awkward pauses keep a conversation going as long as you want. You’ll understand how to keep a conversation on a casual surface level vs. going deeper and building a powerful connection. And you’ll be doing exercises to ensure that everything sticks.
Some of you have already experienced some of the exercises last time I talked about rapport. Bring any questions you have so I can tweak things to help you out. If it’s your first time, just bring an open mind.
I’ve rented a room again at Solid Ground (formerly the Fremont Public Association) where we can have some privacy. Plus, the money is going to a good cause. Come around to the back and knock on the back window or the back door.
1501 N 45th St.
Seattle, WA 98103
As before, the evening is “pay-what-you-can-afford”. Hopefully I’ll remain motivated to keep doing this, no one will be excluded because they can’t afford it, and we’ll all live happily ever after. This is your only chance to work with me for much less than my usual $200/hr. Also, bathrooms are out of order, so take care of that before you come.
See you this Friday, Feb 1, 7-9pm! If you haven’t attended before, please RSVP through email.
-Niels
P.S. Newbies only, as always.
Your thoughts?Tests and attitude - learn to deal with them this Friday! Newbies only. January 17, 2008
Posted by Niels in : Dating coach , add a commentIn Way of the Superior Man, David Deida says:
The most loving women are the women who will test you the most. She wants you to be your fullest, most magnificent self. Anything less than that she will torment. And, as you know, she’s quite good at it. Yet, if your purpose is to be free, you wouldn’t have it any other way.
This week I’ll be focusing on something I’ve wanted to do for a while. You’ll learn to roll with the punches when people take aim at your weak points, to have fun when you get attitude, and to deflect it when someone’s trying to insult you.
Lose the idea of throwing insults back and forth. We’ll be having fun and learning to confidently flirt and play back at other people. By the end of the night, you’ll be looking forward to those times when you get tested - after all, it’s just another opportunity to show off your confidence.
I’ve rented a room again at Solid Ground (formerly the Fremont Public Association) where we can have some privacy. Plus, the money is going to a good cause. Come around to the back and knock on the back window or the back door.
1501 N 45th St.
Seattle, WA 98103
As before, the evening is “pay-what-you-can-afford”. Hopefully I’ll remain motivated to keep doing this, no one will be excluded because they can’t afford it, and we’ll all live happily ever after. This is your only chance to work with me for much less than my usual $200/hr. Also, bathrooms are out of order, so take care of that before you come.
See you this Friday, Jan 18, 7-9pm! If you haven’t attended before, RSVP to me by email.
-Niels
P.S. Newbies only, as always.
Your thoughts?Friday seminars are back: The no-fail kiss. Newbies only. January 9, 2008
Posted by Niels in : Dating coach , add a commentI’ve been away from Seattle for a long time. I left in October to speak at the Munich Pickup Conference (a less positive experience than I had hoped), caught up with friends across Europe (more than made up for the Munich experience), came back to DC in time to celebrate my sister’s engagement (hooray!), and have had, overall, a very pleasant couple of months.
More and more, I’m coming to believe that this pickup thing should be a temporary phase. Develop some new skills, gain some new understanding, and move on to something else in your life, while retaining what you’ve learned. If you’re hoping to become a pickup god, loving and leaving every woman in sight, find someone else to work with. But if you’re looking for a sense of control over your dating life and some choice in your relationships, I think I can help.
I’m starting the Friday seminars back up this week. I plan to talk about communicating through touch (know without a doubt when it’s time to kiss) and psychological space (why “how close should I be” is the wrong question), plus some time to address any individual issues that may have come up while I was away.
I’ve rented a room again at Solid Ground (formerly the Fremont Public Association) where we can have some privacy. Plus, the money is going to a good cause.
1501 N 45th St.
Seattle, WA 98103
As before, the evening is “pay-what-you-can-afford”. Hopefully I’ll remain motivated to keep doing this, no one will be excluded because they can’t afford it, and we’ll all live happily ever after. This is your only chance to work with me for much less than my usual $200/hr.
See you this Friday, Jan 11, 7-9pm! If you haven’t attended before, RSVP to me by email.
-Niels
P.S. Newbies only, as always.
Your thoughts?Munich, Day 4: European Pickup Conference and man-tards November 10, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Dating coach, Personal , add a commentToday was the last day of the European Art of Seduction and Personal Development conference, and my last day to try to reclaim the money for my plane flight.
I woke up still feeling exhausted. I thought about just calling the conference organizer, but I knew the only way anything was going to get negotiated was if I went down to the conference in person.
I was feeling pretty negative. All I could really hope for at this point was finding Eddie, tricking him into giving me his last name, and then threatening him with a lawsuit/police action for fraud. Not fun, and considering the language and geographic obstacles, probably not even possible.
And of course, Eddie never did appear, so I was left just talking to the head guy.
It took all morning, but eventually we negotiated that I would be paid for half my flight in exchange for speaking at the conference. (Not saying anything = great negotiating tactic)
Originally it looked like Cortez (from Badboy Lifestyle) wasn’t going to show, so I was asked if I could speak on five minutes notice.
Ummm… I guess so.
Fortunate, Cortez did show up, so I ended up with about three hours. Three hours to prepare a speech that would be given to 800 people and immortalized on a DVD.
I was asked to talk about rapport, so I did, but the audience of community guys was exhausted and received the talk really, really, really badly. Part of the problem is that it’s hard to do a really entertaining talk on rapport. From here on out, I’m sticking to high-energy, fun topics when I speak.
I brought up a couple guys to do a demo onstage, basically a before and after display, but I got cut off ten minutes early (out of 40 minutes) so all the audience saw was the “before”. And they didn’t give me time to do a sales close, so there’s just some footage of me yelling out a website as I walk offstage.
I’m pretty disappointed with how everything went down. So much wasted potential.
On the bright side, on my way home I passed a store that sold man-tards (They’re not gay, they just European. OK, perhaps they’re gay and European.) and ate dinner at an Indian restaurant with the tackiest chandelier ever.
Build an unforgettable connection. Newbies only. October 17, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Dating coach , 1 comment so farI just bought my ticket to Munich. I’ll be speaking at the European Pickup Conference on Nov 2-4, followed by holidays on the east coast, and won’t be back in Seattle until January. So we’re down to TWO Fridays to get you guys self-sufficient. By the time I leave, I want everyone going out confidently, having fun, and consistently starting playful, flirty conversations with strangers. I want be sure you’re practicing the right stuff and ingraining GOOD habits.
I’ve barely touched on rapport so far. But it’s more important than anything else. Not just for becoming successful in dating, but for improving all the relationships in your life.
Once you’ve BECOME an attractive person, people will be attracted to you. It’s instant. They can’t help it.
But discovering whether you can connect with someone? That’s what really matters.
-Eliminate awkward pauses in your conversations.
-Understand and eliminate flakiness
-Get to know people at a deeper level.
-Rediscover your emotions.
-Find the strength in vulnerability.
By 9pm this Friday, you should be connecting with people on a more meaningful level than you ever imagined possible.
Last Friday was great. Lets keep the momentum going. See you this Friday, October 19, 7-9pm in our new private room.
I’ve rented a room again at Solid Ground (formerly the Fremont Public Association) where we can have some privacy. Plus, the money is going to a good cause.
If you thought the sessions were good before, you won’t believe what I can do when I’ve got a room to myself. The address is:
1501 N 45th St.
Seattle, WA 98103
Details on the “pay what you can afford system”:
I don’t want exclude anyone because of their financial situation. At the same time, I’m no longer teaching workshops and I’ve got to make rent. So there’s a tradeoff.
Weigh what you can afford vs. what the evening is worth to you and put that much in a blank envelope (cash, or a check made out to “Niels Hoven”). I’ll open them later, so everything will be anonymous (well, not the checks), but hopefully I’ll remain motivated to keep doing this, no one will be excluded because they can’t afford it, and we’ll all live happily ever after. This is your only chance to work with me for much less than my usual $200/hr.
See you Friday! If you haven’t attended before, RSVP to me by email.
-Niels
P.S. Newbies only, as always.
Your thoughts?