Niels Hoven

Photos: Craig turns 27 and the Moustachio Bashio is a success June 9, 2008

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I’d wanted to throw a moustache party for a long time. The internet answered the “how” with 250 fake moustaches for $40. Craig’s birthday provided the “when”, and that was all we needed.

I don’t know who that last guy is, but one day he’ll regret this photo.

Your thoughts?

Photos from Party Like it’s 1989! February 13, 2008

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Your thoughts?

A holiday photo retrospective January 5, 2008

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Some people might say that the best present of all is the chance to be at home during the holidays when your little sister gets engaged.

But those people don’t have green glow-in-the-dark dinosaur footie pajamas. Thank you, Kristin, I will be single forever.

Dad got a mystery board game that Ryan swears isn’t a Clue knock-off, but we’re unconvinced.

Mom got a drum set (because there’s nothing better than a five-foot tall, 60-year old asian lady rocking out on drums), but she’s the only person who’s not playing it yet. But we know she loves it because she told all her friends that thanks to her crazy family, she’s got to go find herself a percussion teacher.

Ryan loves his hideous alligator. (”Holy Toledo!” says Dad.)

The sis and I do love our fruit. Her forehead’s not really this big in real life.

Pie for Christmas Eve at our house. We had sixteen people over, the biggest party my parents have thrown in… well, ever. Apparently they’ve known about the engagement for three weeks, making me the only person in the world who was out of the loop.

We’ve had an unused crepe maker in our basement for years, the quintessential example of the junk in our house that we don’t need. What with all the moving, the crepe maker finally saw the light of day, so we used it for the first time ever. Turns out it doesn’t really work, unless you like the style of crepes with huge gaping holes in them.

Christmas dinner was spent meeting Ryan’s family for the first time. Long story short, everyone loves everyone else. Also, they have a pool table.

Dad and Grandma get along really well.

My last day in town was spent with my sister. For her birthday, I promised her a field trip. We started with Matchbox’s mini-hamburgers. Nine, of course.

Followed by the Boy Scout Memorial. It’s a monstrosity, don’t miss it.

By happy coincidence, the Boy Scout Memorial is right by the White House Christmas tree. Also by happy coincidence, the White House Christmas tree is really, really tacky.

Vegan chocolate cake from Sticky Fingers Bakery, the finest purveyor of vegan baked goods in the Washington metropolitan area. It wasn’t bad, but we would have appreciated it more had we been vegan.

We finished off the evening with a second visit to A Very Merry Unauthorized Children’s Scientology Pageant and a family dinner at a Salvadoran restaurant. Dinner was good, but the pageant was better. Kristin I had tried to go to the pageant once before, but thanks to a wrong address on the webpage, we missed the first half. The second half was stellar enough that we had to return for a full viewing. It’s tough to capture the experience of having the story of Scientology explained to you by a cast of singing children. Just go see it yourself.

On a side note, maybe it’s unfair to single out Scientology to make fun of. After all, what with enormous arks and multi-armed elephant goddesses and so forth, mainstream religions have plenty of wacky ideas of their own.

On the other hand - an alien lord Xenu planting hydrogen bombs in volcanoes and blowing parasitic alien spirits throughout the universe? Really, that’s pretty funny.

Your thoughts?

Chicago does weddings and New Year’s Eve right January 2, 2008

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I’ve never been to Chicago before. I like it. A lot. But considering that of the four nights I spent here, one was a wedding and one was New Year’s Eve, I may be a bit biased.

Day 1: I discover that three-puck air hockey KICKS ASS!

Day 2: Carried a 70-pound chocolate wedding cake, laughed at cold bridemaids, and celebrated!

Bonus surprise on the drive home: a winter wonderland!

Day 3: We explore Chicago’s Magnificent mile and get caught in a huge snowstorm. Just like every other day.

Says Andrew: “Brand new tractors + trains = my five-year old cousin’s dreams come true.”

I have no idea what these statues mean.

Millennium park. Happy holidays, we’re a Gap ad!

The Chicago bean is pretty damn cool.

Chicago hot dogs are dragged through the garden.

Dinner at Gino’s East: Bad photos, good pizza. Having finally tasted Chicago-style pizza in Chicago, I finally understand its allure.

Day 4: New Years eve began at Navy Pier, where we ate junk food, went sledding down tiny hills on McDonald’s food trays (just me, really), had a kick-ass snowball fight, and I made a new friend.

As for the evening festivities, there are no New Year’s Eve events in Chicago that cost less than $150 (unless you crash them after midnight, more on that later). We’d rather put our money into a fab feast. And so, at China Grill, much food was eaten and much drink was drunk.

We celebrated the new year in the China Grill bar, where I kissed many girls.

And we finished off the evening by crashing an Indian dance party which was still going strong when we finally left after 2am.

Your thoughts?

I heart New York December 17, 2007

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Five weeks straight is a bit much to spend with the family, so a week in New York to catch up with old friends seemed in order. Last week was great. DC’s first snowfall of the year nearly made me miss my bus, but I arrived safely to see a snowy New York.

Snow in New York makes a trip to Rockefeller Center mandatory, but since I was dropped off right next to Macy’s, how could I resist visiting the epitome of Santadom?

I left Macy’s and headed to Rockefeller Center to see the tree but got sidetracked by the Charmin Public Toilets. It was like a bathroom-oriented theme park, and to be honest, it was more fun than Macy’s Santaland.

After the toilets, I headed to Rockefeller Center, thereby completing my tourist requirements for the week. The rest of my time was spent catching up with New York friends, San Francisco friends, and Seattle friends. I stayed eight nights, two nights each with four different friends, neatly cycling through almost everyone I knew in New York.

And my week couldn’t have ended any better when, on my last night, we happened to walk past a bar just in time to catch Happyfunsmile’s last performance of the year. How lucky can you get?