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Poolsoomansnikasoff August 12, 2007

Posted by Niels in : Other, Personal , 1 comment so far

I learned a new word today. As in: “Attraction gets her hot, but rapport poolsoomansnikasoff.”

Your thoughts?

On the road again: England, Sweden, and a wedding! August 7, 2007

Posted by Niels in : Other, Personal , 3 comments

I’m off to London for Art of Attraction this weekend. Can’t wait to see my Brit friends again. This is going to be the first time I’ve worked in almost two months, so I’ll be needing a vacation afterwards. Three days in Stockholm, following which I head to Detroit for a wedding.

The toughest part of all of this is finding room in my suitcase after I’ve packed a tent, sleeping bag, and Thermarest for the wedding. What kind of wedding needs a tent? Well… the bride called me a few weeks ago to ask if I had any large surgical tubing water balloon slingshots, as they didn’t have enough for the wedding.

This is going to be great…

Your thoughts?

How to succeed socially July 20, 2007

Posted by Niels in : Other, Personal , 2 comments

In my recent post, Thoughts on Self-Improvement, I criticized people who shy away from self-improvement. They were arguments I’d brought up before in one of my earliest (and fairly controversial) posts, When Liking Yourself is a Load of Crap. Now, my thanks go out to David Braun for pointing me to a fantastic website, Succeed Socially, that lists a number of the most common arguments against self-improvement (with rebuttals!).

Your thoughts?

Some thoughts on self-improvement July 13, 2007

Posted by Niels in : Other, Personal , 2 comments

Craig and I bought a new couch for our apartment a few days ago. It’s sweet. The couple I bought it from were also involved in personal development and some of the things we discussed really hit home. I mentioned my experience at Art of Seduction and how powerful it was for me to see men I’d helped a year ago and the incredible changes they’d made in their life. And the couple pointed out that it wasn’t just a man’s life I was changing, it was his, and his children’s, and their children’s children. The new skills I can give people will be passed down in their families. I’m not just helping individuals; my work changes entire branches of family trees.

It took a few minutes for that to really sink in. I love my job.

We also talked about people who fight the opportunity to change. “I’m fine the way I am.” “People who don’t like me as I am are just narrow-minded.” “If I change, I won’t be myself anymore.” I had a friend who once told me unhappily, “I’m shy and introverted. If I changed that, I wouldn’t be myself anymore.” How much more tragic can you get than weaving your own unhappiness into your identity? I told this to the girl I bought the couch from and she laughed. “When you got to kindergarten, you couldn’t read or write. No one says, ‘I won’t be myself anymore if I learn to read!’”

Your thoughts?

Ask Niels: Why am I scared to talk to girls? July 12, 2007

Posted by Niels in : How to, Other , add a comment

hot_girl_model.jpg
I have a quick question. Often with very attractive girls, I treat them as if they are smarter, more judgemental, funner, etc. than less attractive girls. This often leads to me being intimidated by them, because i put their reputation on a pedestal. I’m sure that I will also be very dissapointed with my beliefs once I meet more very attractive girls. How do you change your mindset so that you are not intimidated by very attractive girls? Maybe even something you say to yourself just before you go into approach them.

-MD

Hi MD - You’re absolutely right. As you meet more very attractive girls, you will discover that physical attractiveness does not necessarily correspond to how smart or fun they are. Or how successful they will be in life. That hot girl you see in the bar - where is she going to be 30 years from now vs. where you’re going to be 30 years from now? Looking at it that way, the pedestal that society puts beautiful women on begins to look kinda silly. So reduce your approach anxiety by taking the focus off the results of your interactions. Go out with only the intention of having fun. Smile like an idiot. Bob your head and think, “Yeah yeah yeah…” to yourself. Slap your ass. You can’t be nervous when you’re having fun.

Your thoughts?