Recommended copywriting books September 20, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Life, the universe, and everything, Personal, Work , 5 commentsI became interested in copywriting only about three months ago. I’d spent the past year traveling around the world teaching people to improve their relationships, but there was still something missing in my life.
The drive to learn and grow has been a constant force in my life, both on the personal side and in my work. Even though I struggled with depression in graduate school, I did get a lot of satisfaction from constantly pushing my the boundaries of scientific knowledge, as well as my own intellectual boundaries.
The whole point of doing research is that the answers are always new. I knew that at the end of every day at work, I would know something that I didn’t know that morning.
I love helping people improve their social lives, but after a year and a half of teaching, the problems I saw every workshop were the same. All the students struggle with the same issues, which is great, because I’ve seen the problems before and I know how to fix them, but at the same time - I get bored.
When I’m not challenged at work, I look for new outlets.
The other instructors and I had thought that one outlet could be the creation of new workshops. So we came up with the Advanced Art of Attraction workshop, which was incredible. I’ve never had a group of students get so much out of the workshop.
Unfortunately, my boss’s viewpoint is that additional workshops do not add any value to the company. Creating content, whether in the form of a product or a workshop, is easy. Each customer has a certain amount they’ll be willing to spend on our products, so if they don’t spend it on our latest kickass workshop, they’ll spend it on a new kickass product once we eventually come out with it.
The end result being that additional products or workshops aren’t really worth anything to the company. Lance turns down opportunities to market other people’s products all the time. What is worth money to the company is getting new customers. And for that Lance needs people who can write sales copy.
So it seemed like a good time to start learning copywriting.
I’m beginning to get the hang of it. I’ve got a long way to go before I’m as good as I’d like to be, but apparently I’m good enough to sell my trash on eBay. Which means I’m good enough to write a sales page for my own products, whatever they end up being.
At this point, I’ve given up on any monetary rewards from Pickup 101, so I’m focusing more on gaining skills that will help me in my own business. And from selling my desk and bed on Craigslist, to getting rid of my old junk on eBay, to using Google AdWords, copywriting has been fantastic.
First of all, anything by Dan Kennedy
Lance pointed me to Tested Advertising Methods
But my favorite book so far was also recommended by Lance. Cash Copy: How to Offer Your Products and Services So Your Prospects Buy Them
How to become a leader September 18, 2007
Posted by Niels in : How to, Other, Personal , 1 comment so farEmployers consistently name leadership as one of the top qualities they look for in job applicants. The ability to lead is important in relationships, too. Everyone’s had this conversation: “What should we do tonight?” “I don’t know, whatever you want to do.” “Well, I’m flexible. What do you want to do?”
Each partner means well, but they’re missing the big picture: that what their partner really wants is for someone to make a decision.
So if you’ve never been a leader, how do you become one?
Anytime you have a goal that seems daunting, begin by taking small steps. There are plenty of small opportunities for leadership in your every day life. Next time you’re out to dinner with friends, take the lead. Pick the place, herd everyone out the door, split up the check. Once you’re used to that, organize the dinner yourself. Craig and I have an at-least-monthly potluck at our place.
Take initiative. Pick a movie that you want to see and invite friends along. Or host a video night. Or a games night. Remember, you choose the game.
Teach your friends something. If you learn something interesting, chances are, they’ll find it interesting, too.
Tell your supervisor at work that you want to start a side project. Excel at it with minimal supervision. Take even more initiative next time.
Stick your neck out. Make leadership a habit.
Your thoughts?How to get out of a crowded concert September 17, 2007
Posted by Niels in : How to , 1 comment so farWaiting in a huge crowd tonight to get out of a concert, Alexandra and I heard a guy behind us yelling “OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!” as he weaved his way through the crowd. As he passed us he stopped, grinned, and whispered, “you get out faster if you yell ‘oh my god’.” And with that, he was off again. “OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!”
Your thoughts?Birth control pills are dooming your marriage September 17, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Life, the universe, and everything, Other , 10 commentsTanja Diamond bills herself as “the world’s only sexual transformation expert”. (I’m not sure why, because each time she introduced herself she would have to follow it up by explaining that she didn’t transform men into women, she transforms their sexual abilities. Just so we’re clear.) She was one of a panel of five speakers, including myself, who spoke at a men’s development event on Sunday, and she brought up some troubling recent research.
I was already familiar with the first study. Women were given T-shirts from a number of different men and instructed to smell the shirts and rate which they thought smelled the best. It turned out that universally, women preferred the odors of men whose immune systems most differed from their own.
It was found, by Wedekind and his team, that how women rate a man’s body odor pleasantness and sexiness depends upon how much of their MHC profile is shared. Overall, women prefer those scents exuded by men whose MHC profiles varied the most from their own. Hence, any given man’s odor could be pleasingly alluring to one woman, yet an offensive turnoff to another.
-Psychology Today
It makes sense that nature would engineer us to be attracted to people with a different genetic profile. Encouraging cross-breeding leads to healthier offspring. The catch is that once a woman gets pregnant, her preferences change and she is more attracted to her own tribe. And birth control pills work by manipulating hormone levels to simulate pregnancy. So the men a woman is naturally attracted to change when she goes on the pill.
The Swiss researchers found that women taking oral contraceptives (which block conception by tricking the body into thinking it’s pregnant) reported reversed preferences, liking more the smells that reminded them of home and kin. Since the Pill reverses natural preferences, a woman may feel attracted to men she wouldn’t normally notice if she were not on birth control - men who have similar MHC profiles.
-Psychology Today
The obvious question: well, what happens if my wife and I fell in love while she’s on the pill and wired to be attracted to her own family? Scientists have something to say about that, too. Back to Psychology Today:
The effects of such evolutionary novel mate choices can go well beyond the bewilderment of a wife who stops taking her contraceptive pills and notices her husband’s “newly” foul body odor. Couples experiencing difficulty conceiving a child - even after several attempts at tubal embryo transfer - share significantly more of their MHC than do couples who conceive more easily. These couples’ grief is not caused by either partner’s infertility, but to an unfortunate combination of otherwise viable genes.
Conclusion? Before you enter into any serious long-term commitments, have your partner go off the pill for a while. If the chemistry evaporates with the hormones, better to find out sooner rather than later.
Your thoughts?Dan Gilbert’s TED talk on happiness September 12, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Life, the universe, and everything, Personal , 5 commentsIt’s been years since I’ve had anything rock my world view like Dan Gilbert’s talk on happiness. The research makes it quite clear that we have a “psychological immune system” to keep us feeling happy in the face of adversity. Dan refers to this as “synthetic happiness”. The amazing thing is that this synthetic happiness is every bit as real as the happiness we’re used to.
In the past, when I saw studies saying that paraplegics are just as happy as lottery winners, I’d kinda brush them aside. “That can’t be right.” Or, “Silly people, fooling themselves like that.” The unsettling thing is, they aren’t fooling themselves. They really are, truly, genuinely happy.
Apparently it’s a human trait that while we can predict our feelings in the future, we vastly overpredict the differences between outcomes. And we almost completely disregard synthetic happiness, to the point where people make decisions that will leave them less happy in the future.
Craig and I watched the video together over dinner and were floored. Within the span of 20 minutes, the way I look at the world was transformed. The ramifications touch every part of our lives.
- Of course people in arranged marriages are happy. With no escape route, synthetic happiness goes through the roof.
- If you’ve been divorced once, you’ll see marriage as less permanent, leading to less synthetic happiness and hence less satisfaction in your next marriage. Probably the same thing if your parents divorced.
- Synthetic happiness explains why it’s easier to be the person who’s been broken up with, rather than the breaker-upper. If you’re dumped, you have to move on, so you do. No other choice and your synthetic happiness kicks in.
- This could explain why I’m so happy about leaving grad school, buying a crappy car, and living in my current apartment.
- If I stopped buying from REI with their liberal return policy, perhaps I would be happier with my purchases.
- It certainly explains why I’m not that happy with the pen I bought from REI last week.
- In fact, if you’re running your own business, a liberal return policy makes more people buy, but a “no returns” policy will cause them to be happier with their purchases.
- Here’s the kicker - I’ve spent the past few years working really hard to become more successful with women and relationships. But too much choice with women could actually make me less happy. Damn.
- Oh, and procrastinating until you only have one choice left starts to make a lot more sense.
In short, small decisions don’t matter. As long as the outcomes aren’t too extreme, your synthetic happiness will kick in to keep you happy. So don’t worry about small decisions. Oh, and since we vastly overestimate differences in outcomes, almost everything you think is a big decision is actually a small decision.
How big does a decision have to become for it to actually matter? Well, apparently the difference between being a lottery winner and being a paraplegic is not that big, so it appears the decision would have to be pretty large.
My take: Buy insurance to hold off any catastrophic events, fill up your IRA for retirement, and then enjoy the moment.
Dan Gilbert has a whole book on this, Stumbling on Happiness