Trophy Cupcakes is better than Cupcake Royale September 13, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Personal , 5 commentsJust in case you happen to be in Seattle looking for gourmet cupcakes that cost about $3 apiece, I am now 100% decided: Trophy Cupcakes in Wallingford is way better than Cupcake Royale in Ballard. Not to disparage the delicious Red Velvet, Hummingbird, and Triple Vanilla cupcakes I got at Trophy, but I still dream about the Triple Coconut with the slightly crispy cupcake top underneath the double coconut topping. Mmm…
Craig and I stopped by Cupcake Royale yesterday just to double check, but they don’t compare. Next stop: New York Cupcakes in downtown Seattle…
Your thoughts?Great relationships September 13, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Personal , 1 comment so farEvery once in a while, I meet a couple who make me think, “Wow. I want my relationship with my wife to be like that.” I say every once in a while, but really it’s less than that. In fact, until recently, the closest thing I had to a model relationship were Alexandra’s parents. But after meeting Andy and Jenny, I’m adding a second couple to my list. It turns out that it’s possible to spend months in a tent with your partner and still be able to flirt and laugh with each other at the end.
Your thoughts?Dan Gilbert’s TED talk on happiness September 12, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Life, the universe, and everything, Personal , 5 commentsIt’s been years since I’ve had anything rock my world view like Dan Gilbert’s talk on happiness. The research makes it quite clear that we have a “psychological immune system” to keep us feeling happy in the face of adversity. Dan refers to this as “synthetic happiness”. The amazing thing is that this synthetic happiness is every bit as real as the happiness we’re used to.
In the past, when I saw studies saying that paraplegics are just as happy as lottery winners, I’d kinda brush them aside. “That can’t be right.” Or, “Silly people, fooling themselves like that.” The unsettling thing is, they aren’t fooling themselves. They really are, truly, genuinely happy.
Apparently it’s a human trait that while we can predict our feelings in the future, we vastly overpredict the differences between outcomes. And we almost completely disregard synthetic happiness, to the point where people make decisions that will leave them less happy in the future.
Craig and I watched the video together over dinner and were floored. Within the span of 20 minutes, the way I look at the world was transformed. The ramifications touch every part of our lives.
- Of course people in arranged marriages are happy. With no escape route, synthetic happiness goes through the roof.
- If you’ve been divorced once, you’ll see marriage as less permanent, leading to less synthetic happiness and hence less satisfaction in your next marriage. Probably the same thing if your parents divorced.
- Synthetic happiness explains why it’s easier to be the person who’s been broken up with, rather than the breaker-upper. If you’re dumped, you have to move on, so you do. No other choice and your synthetic happiness kicks in.
- This could explain why I’m so happy about leaving grad school, buying a crappy car, and living in my current apartment.
- If I stopped buying from REI with their liberal return policy, perhaps I would be happier with my purchases.
- It certainly explains why I’m not that happy with the pen I bought from REI last week.
- In fact, if you’re running your own business, a liberal return policy makes more people buy, but a “no returns” policy will cause them to be happier with their purchases.
- Here’s the kicker - I’ve spent the past few years working really hard to become more successful with women and relationships. But too much choice with women could actually make me less happy. Damn.
- Oh, and procrastinating until you only have one choice left starts to make a lot more sense.
In short, small decisions don’t matter. As long as the outcomes aren’t too extreme, your synthetic happiness will kick in to keep you happy. So don’t worry about small decisions. Oh, and since we vastly overestimate differences in outcomes, almost everything you think is a big decision is actually a small decision.
How big does a decision have to become for it to actually matter? Well, apparently the difference between being a lottery winner and being a paraplegic is not that big, so it appears the decision would have to be pretty large.
My take: Buy insurance to hold off any catastrophic events, fill up your IRA for retirement, and then enjoy the moment.
Dan Gilbert has a whole book on this, Stumbling on Happiness
I am done with the Thirty Day Challenge! September 12, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Personal , 2 commentsIt took me 42 days, but I’ve finally made it through all the 30 Day Challenge material. Wow. Ed Dale and Dan Raine have done an incredible service with all the information they put out. In the end, Craig and I have yet to make our first dollar, but we know where we went wrong. In the next few days we’ll be starting the 30DC over from scratch with a new keyword phrase. Having made all kinds of mistakes in round 1, round 2 will be so much smoother. Key realization - this time we’ll be looking for a phrase that drives traffic that wants to BUY.
Your thoughts?Tales from the Pacific Crest Trail September 10, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Personal , add a commentWe have a couple friends staying with us this weekend. Andy and Jenny just finished thru-hiking the Pacific Crest Trail, which means that over the last four months, they walked from Mexico to Canada. Their stories are amazing. Long distance hiking was never something that appealed to me before, but after hearing about the friendships they made on the trail, the sense of community among hikers, and everything they’ve been through, it does sound interesting.
But it’s the sense of just experiencing nature and allowing yourself to be in the moment every minute of every day for months on end that appeals to me more than anything else.
So it’s back to the Thirty Day Challenge and my lessons in internet commerce so that I can build a lifestyle that will eventually allow me to wander off into the wilderness for months on end. Onwards!
To hear about Andy and Jenny’s adventures, you can check out Charlie Brown & Cardinal Bird’s 2007 Pacific Crest Trail Journal (their trail names).
In other news, I tried to pick up a 14-year old yesterday. Oops. To be fair, none of my friends thought she looked that young either and the fact that she was grocery shopping by herself threw me off. I gave her a high-five and wished her a good day.
Your thoughts?