Why “levels of pickup mastery” is a dumb idea August 14, 2007
Posted by Niels in : How to, Other, Personal , trackbackI love the idea of a community of men working together to improve their social skills, rediscover their masculinity, and deepen their understanding of relationships. I love the fact that those who grew up without strong male role models in their life can now search for them among their peers. But it’s so frustrating to me whenever I see the misogyny, insecurity, and general weirdness that still permeates the “seduction community”. There’s so much potential for positive social change and yet time and time again I see healthy attitudes losing the battle in a sea of creepiness.
I found the following on a bulletin board, the poster is talking about “levels of pickup mastery”. Ignore the weird creepy jargon, or just take it as another red flag that the poster has lost his way…
So courtesy Mystery i’m setting up some levels (all of them are based on skillset - the results are just a means of measurement).
Yellow Belt (basically rAFC) - gets his ass kicked.
I’m sure all the guys can relate to the fact that though being a rAFC is >> being an AFC. you still get your ass kicked.Green Belt - can pull a day 2 with a HB8+ any given fortnight he chooses.
Explanation: fortnight means that in the time period of two weeks you can convince a HB8+ to meet you again, in an isolated
situation. (it should be obvious that a f-close >> day 2).Orange Belt - can pull a day 2 with a HB8+ any given week. Also has f-closed atleast a B7.5 using ASF skillset. This level is the same as GPUA level.
Red Belt - can f-close a HB8+ any given month.
Explanation: A red belt decides that in may he’s gonna f-close a hb8+, and starting May 1st, by the end of May he’s done it.
Brown Belt - can f-close a HB8+ any given fortnight.
Black Belt - can f-close a HB8+ any given week.
Explanation: Cold Approach to f-close must be within a week.
Regardless of Logistics.
Black Belt - PUA Level. This is the exact same as PUA level in ASF.
You know what?
Who cares?
Who cares whether you’re an AFC or a PUA or an XYZ or an MZQ? Who cares if you’ve slept with 2 girls or 200? Are you seriously saying that if someone sleeps with a new girl every week he is in some way “better” than someone who sleeps with a new girl every two weeks?
There’s only one question that matters in all of this, and that is: Are you happy? I’m satisfied with the knowledge that I can create any kind of relationship I can imagine. Whatever makes me the happiest, I can go out and make it part of my life.
Put a guy in front of me. I don’t care how hot the girls he’s shagging are. I don’t care how comfortable he is in bars. I don’t even care if he can cold approach. If he has everything he wants and is happy with his life, then he’s achieved mastery.
Trying to impose some arbitrary ranking system for “who has improved themselves more” is an exercise in futility. Don’t let other people tell you “Oh, you can’t or be happy unless you can get a new girl every week.” Or, “You can’t be happy unless you’re having sex with strippers.” Or, “You can’t be happy unless you’re having regular threesomes.”
Ask yourself, what do I need to be happy? Because once you’ve lost sight of that then caring about “levels of pickup mastery” is no different than getting excited about your level 60 elf paladin on Everquest.
Comments»
This depends on what people want in learning to pickup. Are they here to seek out validation? Or are they becoming a better person? The former would, of course, lead to ranking and comparison with others. The latter would lead to doing what makes one happy.
I would contend that desires, for many, lead to unhappiness. There’s this guy who said it thousands of years ago.
If you have met the said poster IRL, you will recognize why so many dislike him. If only he would redirect his energy, intelligence, goals,… to something more positive instead of creeping people out and seeking validation from others… mostly losers.
Hey Niels! Deryk here. I emailed you a few weeks back.
I think you’re spot on with your comments regarding PUA “mastery”. The “picking up” of women is such a relative term that there is absolutely no way of standardizing it so that it means the same thing to everybody. The only way to probably do that is to establish some international governing body of the PUA scene- that wouldn’t do much to take away the creepiness already permeating the “community”, now would it?
People are in this for very different reasons, shaped by their upbringing, culture, religion, and generally every facet of their lives. I’ve seen people who just want to bang chicks every night for the rest of their lives. Others want to meet the woman of their dreams, the woman they want to marry- which of course explains why some play “day game” and others prefer “night game”, and why some PUA groups don’t work well in one or the other, or with different types of women.
This brings me to last night’s episode of the Pick Up Artist. It was so sad to see the 45-year-old guy trying to match up with the young guys. He was out of his element, amidst a group of people with whom he had nothing in common, purpose-wise. He said it best in his interview- he wanted to find someone to marry. Was he going to find her in a club? Chances are, not likely. But he’s stuck with people, and teachers who seem to advocate the getting laid part more than the “finding the woman of your dreams” part of “picking up”.
Hey Niels, interesting post.
As a woman who gets hit on a lot but never goes home with guys, I say that ability to bring home a girl every night is a huge accomplishment. Maybe I don’t know many “easy†women, but if a guy can seduce ME–or my friends–he’s good and I have to give him credit for it. Do I respect guys like that and would I want to be with one in a relationship? No way. Then again, a guy who is looking to score as much as possible is not LOOKING for a relationship as a source of happiness. In my opinion, men who follow methods like those of Mystery and actually succeed might start off seeking to merely attract A (one) woman but eventually it becomes a game of numbers, an addiction to “winning†as often as possible; it’s from these numbers, rather than the sex itself, that they derive satisfaction and happiness.
Quick question for you: What do you mean when you say that you can “create any kind of relationship [you] can imagine†for yourself? I used to be just as optimistic in my abilities, until I realized that a successful relationship that plays out in the way I’d like it to is also highly dependent on having the right partner, which is a rare find…
Dear Niels,
Do you have any ideas where I can find a girl that truly appreciates my level 70 gnome warlock in world of warcraft? Or perhaps how I can convince a girl to play world of warcraft with me? Or for that matter, the even more general question about how to convince a girl or partner to get interested in whatever obscure interest you’re passionate about? I read (parts of) the game, but that didn’t seem to provide any advice on the matter. Your infinite wisdom would be appreciated.
RJR
Azeroth
Niels,
Great post man. I totally agree, there are guys in the community who just seem to be obsessed with the whole “winning” aspect. Seduction for the sake of validation is weak but used for the real goal, making you happy, is really what it all boils down to.
Matt Savage