Ask Niels: Why am I scared to talk to girls? July 12, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Ask Niels, Dating coach, How to , trackback
I have a quick question. Often with very attractive girls, I treat them as if they are smarter, more judgemental, funner, etc. than less attractive girls. This often leads to me being intimidated by them, because i put their reputation on a pedestal. I’m sure that I will also be very dissapointed with my beliefs once I meet more very attractive girls. How do you change your mindset so that you are not intimidated by very attractive girls? Maybe even something you say to yourself just before you go into approach them.
-MD
Hi MD - You’re absolutely right. As you meet more very attractive girls, you will discover that physical attractiveness does not necessarily correspond to how smart or fun they are. Or how successful they will be in life. That hot girl you see in the bar - where is she going to be 30 years from now vs. where you’re going to be 30 years from now? Looking at it that way, the pedestal that society puts beautiful women on begins to look kinda silly. So reduce your approach anxiety by taking the focus off the results of your interactions. Go out with only the intention of having fun. Smile like an idiot. Bob your head and think, “Yeah yeah yeah…” to yourself. Slap your ass. You can’t be nervous when you’re having fun.
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