Go on a virtual date - real girls are obsolete June 16, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Links , 4 commentsLook at me, wasting my time with real girls when all along I could have been seeing boobies electronically. Mmm… pixels…
For those of you not stuck in the trap of talking to real people, you now have the opportunity to simulate it online for free. All the joys of a bad date, but all you’ll catch is carpal tunnel!
Get virtually laid on a virtual date: Date Ariane (doesn’t work in Mozilla browsers)
Your thoughts?Can you be too emotionally comfortable? June 14, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Personal , 6 comments
I used to be emotionally unavailable to the extreme. There were parts of my life I kept hidden from everyone else. When I began to talk about them, it was uncomfortable. But eventually I became comfortable discussing them and had to begin digging a little deeper to arouse that same uncomfortable feeling. Nowadays I can discuss just about everything in my life comfortably. I don’t get the intense emotional reactions that I did as I was learning to open up. And I’m scared that if I become too comfortable I’ll manage to go full circle and turn the emotions completely off.
Two people talk about a painful experience in their lives. One of them is so emotionally walled off that he can divorce himself from the emotions and tell the story without discomfort. One of them is so comfortable with his emotions that he can tell the story and simply be completely comfortable with the emotions - again, no discomfort. So how do you tell these two situations apart?
Your thoughts?I see London, I see France June 11, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Personal , add a commentWith yet another amazing London workshop out of the way, I’m off to Toulouse, France in a few hours. I’ll be staying with a previous student from an earlier workshop until I head to Paris on a high speed train (200 mph!) to mooch off another friend. Then it’s back to San Francisco for the second ever Art of Seduction workshop and Pickup 101 company reunion. I can’t wait. Forty Pickup 101 instructors in one bar. I expect to see the women actually overload and spontaneously combust. It’s going to be amazing.
Not to get ahead of myself, though. I’ve got ten days in France to enjoy first…
Your thoughts?Yes, you need to go to Ibiza June 8, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Other, Personal , 2 comments
Ibiza. Good God. How did it take twenty-six years for someone to inform me that hidden in the Mediterranean, off the coast of Spain, there is a Bacchanalian island of fun, sun, sand, drugs, alcohol, and sex?
All the women are beautiful and all the men are alpha. Every guy I saw had a confident strut that I only see in one in a hundred guys. (One in a thousand if you’re looking at engineers.) But of course, if you’re not the kind of guy who’s totally at home in a club, what on earth would you be doing in Ibiza? I could spend a whole summer in Ibiza studying body language.
And the men approach, too. Granted, they were probably assisted by enough drugs and alcohol to drop a good-sized horse, and I hardly saw any daytime approaches, but still – what a different vibe. I saw a group of girls I wanted to talk to, hesitated for a moment, and someone else was talking to them within seconds.
I spent my first 36 hours in Ibiza, lamely enough, sleeping. I was exhausted from the London workshop (4 hours of sleep Saturday night, no sleep Sunday night) and coming down with something on top of that.
Sleep was over after Brian arrived, though. We headed to the beach, where I discovered that I actually prefer breasts when they’re in bikinis. It’s just not as much fun where they’re just out there and no one cares. I did make the most of a rough situation and struck up a conversation with some topless German girls. And some Canadians. And some English. And Irish. And Eastern European. Oh, and Spanish.
We hit Bora Bora, a beachside bar that legends are made of. Imagine the hottest girls you’ve seen in your life, laid out side by side on chaise lounges, half asleep in the Mediterranean sun while techno beats pound in the background. I think I’ve been spoiled for beach bars forever.
But the high point of the trip was without a doubt, the Subliminal party at Pacha. My first thought upon walking in was, “This club holds 5000 people?” But then you turn a corner and find another room, and then another, and then another, and then the rooftop terrace, and then you understand.
Cover charge for the club was 50 euros (about 67 dollars). There are plenty of discount tickets (around 35 euros or so) available about town, but Brian and I decided to hold out. We took a taxi out to Pacha, planning to grab a bite to eat and shop around for tickets, only to discover that Pacha has its own sushi restaurant. And if you spend 50 euros at the restaurant, you get into the club for free.
So an hour later, happily full of an amazing salad, delicious duck, the best sushi I’ve had in my entire life, and a decadent, complex, chocolate and ice cream dessert, we headed into Pacha.
What can I say about my night at Pacha? I’ve gone from being terrified of house parties to working the room at the hottest club scene in the world. Oh, and I did it sober. I feel fantastic.
I finally had to bail out early at 6am to catch my morning flight back to London. But not before finding a deep connection with a sexy ex-law student from England. The conversations where someone says, “I can’t believe I’m telling you all this,” – those are the conversations that stick with you.
Your thoughts?How do I let a girl know I like her? June 6, 2007
Posted by Niels in : How to, Other , 4 comments
Hi Niels,
Your website is very good! I’ve been reading about the pickup stuff but when talking to girls i just can’t seem to come up with good SOIs (show of interest / statement of intent). I just tell the girls very cheesy lines that doesn’t seem to work for me. Please, can you give me some examples of SOI. I think I can improve my game a lot more if I get around this.
-JZ
Hi JZ - I think you’re falling into the common trap of paying attention to what you say. It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. To express your interest in a girl you’ve just met, just give her a compliment. “You’re cute.” “I like you.” “You’re very sexy.” But again, it’s all about how you say it.
This is not a needy compliment. You are not complimenting her in order to make her like you. You are not complimenting her in order to move closer to some goal of your own. You are merely giving her a genuine compliment to make her day a little better because you are confident enough to do so without expecting anything in return.
Your thoughts?