How do you make and keep friends? June 25, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Ask Niels, Dating coach, How to , 1 comment so farHey Niels, I’m not sure if this is asked frequently, but how do you make and keep friends? Personally, when I meet someone new, we would hang out and talk for a couple of weeks (months at most) and we would just, grow out of each other. Sometimes I feel as if I am annoying people, but it’s just me trying to get them to talk, you know? This is becoming a problem, since I have have to change friends every year in school. So, do you have any tips?
Also, it might be because I’m not too great of a talker. I can maybe carry a 5 minute conversation and it just dies.
-Gina
First things first, Gina. Let me ask you something. What do you bring to the table? You say that you’re trying to get other people to talk, but you also say you can’t carry on more than a five minute conversation. You can’t depend on other people to drive the conversation simply because you can’t do it yourself.
What about your friendships? Are you depending on other people to complete you? Because that will never happen either.
Take care of yourself first. Work on your conversational skills until your conversations go as long as you want. Improv classes are a great place to start. Find a hobby and join a group. Whether it’s art, sports, dancing, music, or something completely different, fill your life with activities you enjoy.
Make it your goal to lead a fascinating, fulfilling life. If your life is empty, you put the burden of your happiness onto your friends’ shoulders. And no one wants that. But when you’re following your passions you’ll notice that other people want to come along for the adventure.
Your thoughts?Bad pickup lines June 24, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Personal , 1 comment so farWith Pickup 101 instructors from all over the world congregated in San Francisco, I was looking forward to going out. I had this mental picture of all the women running out of the bar screaming. “Aaah! Flirting overload!”
We came close. Walking to the Matrix, I told a few other instructors about a terrible idea that I’d been wanting to try for a while. We agreed it was indeed a terrible idea. But for some reason we were particularly amenable to terrible ideas so we all came up with the worst pickup lines we could think of, put them in a hat (actually, my back pocket), and whatever you drew you had to go in with.
“Nice shoes, wanna fuck?”
“Is there a mirror in your pants, because I can really see myself in them.”
“I’m so bad at this. So so bad at this!”
“You’re the hottest transvestite I’ve ever seen.”
One that I’ll call Johnny Greaseball that’s so offensive I won’t even write it here.
Yeah, worst idea ever. Which is not to say we couldn’t make the lines work, but I think I’m going to have to tell about twenty girls this week that they’re cute to restore the karma balance.
Your thoughts?Finally made it into the Louvre June 23, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Personal , add a commentOn my first trip to Paris, I didn’t have time to see the Louvre. I made it to the outside and wandered around the glass pyramid, but didn’t have time to go inside. My second trip didn’t take me near the Louvre at all. Last Saturday, I finally came close. I came by at 6pm planning to get the reduced evening prices, but discovered the museum is only open late on Wednesdays and Fridays. However, the area under the pyramid is open even when the museum is closed, so I went down and took a look around the lobby. Finally, on Sunday, I had planned to visit Versailles, but thanks to the rain, decided it would be a better day to stay inside and see some paintings.
I saw the Mona Lisa (La Joconde), and the Venus de Milo (Aphrodite de Milo), of course. But the art I appreciated the most were the pieces where I overhead English conversations about them. People commenting on the detail in a painted leg, or the multiple planes of the sculpture let me know what I was supposed to be appreciating. I need to learn more about art before I come back, but it was still a fantastic day.
Your thoughts?I support tipping June 22, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Personal , 2 commentsGod bless American customer service. After three trips to London, I really appreciate it. At a Thai restaurant this evening, my dinner was so spicy I could barely eat it. The waitress noticed and brought me a free Thai iced tea. Compare this to London where I almost went into shock when I got the chance to make a free photocopy. More industries should incorporate tips..
Your thoughts?Follow your bliss June 21, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Personal , 2 comments
While wandering around Paris last Saturday, I heard the refrain of Coolio’s “Gangsta’s Paradise” on the air. Played by trumpets! It turned out to be a bunch of brass players and a drummer rocking out on the street. Too be honest, they’re weren’t that good. Wrong notes, tone not that great, beats a little off. But they were having so much fun that a huge crowd gathered to watch and dance and cheer. Find what you love, do it 100%, and everything else will work out.