To win or Toulouse: Working the room when you don’t speak the language June 18, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Beauty and the Geek, Dating coach, How to, Personal , trackbackI had a fantastic time in Toulouse. It feels smaller than any big city I’ve ever been in. I spent a few days wandering around downtown Toulouse with a former student and never would have guessed that it’s the fourth-largest city in France (behind Paris, Lyon, and Marseilles, just so you know).
My last night was the most fun. A nice dinner (Oh God, baked Camembert with fig is so good. And so is duck - aguillettes de canard, ou magrete de canard… mmm…), followed by a meeting with the “Toulousian Artists’ Club”. I met ten pretty cool guys (only a few of whom spoke English, so it was interesting), all working to become more comfortable in social settings and more successful with women. We talked for a while and everyone wanted to hear my take on the process. They’ve been reading a lot of community stuff - magic tricks and routines and all that jazz, and most of them were really receptive to the idea that there is another way. I enjoyed having such an enthusiastic audience - it’s nice to be appreciated.
Afterwards a few of us went out to a French bar. I’ve never worked a room in another language, but I think I figured it out. Lots of expressiveness, lots of facial expression, and an enthusiastic, “Bonsoir! Hello!” to everyone in the room did the trick. This evening was a personal achievement for me as well, since I’ve been nervous about talking to strangers who don’t speak my language. I don’t want to be the obnoxious American who assumes everyone speaks English, but at the same time - je ne peux pas bien parler francais.
The evening went incredibly well, though. I’d say about 1 in 10 people spoke English, but since they were all in groups, about half the groups I approached had at least one person who would react really well and engage me in conversation. I had girls laughing and touching me, guys buying me drinks, and I was even recognized by some French fans of Beauty and the Geek (they watched it over the internet). Seriously, what are the odds?
So, moral of the story:
1) Fun, friendliness, and body language translate, even if your words don’t.
2) “Hello!” and “I don’t really speak French!” are the only phrases you need to know
3) One day, I will pick up a girl whose language I do not speak at all. And it will be hot.
Photos soon…
Comments»
Hey Niels!!
I’m so glad you really appreciated this trip in Toulouse!
I think you did a good summary of the evening!
And yes you’re right, I am sure now there is another way to attract than things we can see on a community stuff.
The important thing I learned only after having talked to you for a few hours: be natural, funny and smiley. If you ‘re not this kind of personn, so juste change yourself, and you’ll enjoy more!
And I am also here to confirm that with only Two or three words of french, you succeed in being the attraction of the bar, that was amazing!
See you, and Bonne chance pour la suite!
Hey Niels, That was nice to see u in Toulouse. Nothing to had to what Bertrand said, let’s be smiley, natural and enjoy ourselves!
Also I now know that it is possible to have a strong voice without screaming, and be audible in a loud-music environment. I liked that.
See you and enjoy the rest of your trip!
Thats awesome! I just got back from france! Toulouse was one of the cities that we visited on our excursions, we stayed in fanjeaux which is about an hour outside of Toulouse. I went in speaking absolutely no french but being there you learn those few tricks, but most people we came across spoke english- obviously you have to try to the fullest and most appreciate the respect for the language and culture and if they speak english they will (which of course makes things a whole lot easier :). Thats great thou that you had a good time- we went to paris the last 3 days but I have to say I loved being in the South of France… nothing beats breathless countryside and fresh air with small obselete towns lol
hi niels
i’m hind from morroco in north africa i watched the beauty and the geek and i really liked your team with jennylee you were really good .i hope you ‘ve had a good experience and improved your social skills .And if you want to date a girl just be confident you’re really cute so go ahead.my best hopes for you .i think megan and scooter really deserved to win cause Cecille ‘ill never ever change to anything good
good luck and hasta lavista