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Cheap resources for understanding women and relationships May 31, 2007

Posted by Niels in : Ask Niels, Dating coach , trackback

Dear Niels,

I’m not sure what the proper forum is for posting “Ask Niels” questions, but I’ll just post it here in the comments section, in the hopes you’ll read it. In case, we can’t take a class like “art of attraction” in person, are there any materials you recommend reading (either online or books)? I’ve heard “The Game” is good for guys, although I’m wondering what your take is on the book. And are reading books like “The Rules” useful for understanding women as well?

My list of recommended reading can be found here.

I’ve read The Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right and actually thought the book wasn’t bad. I wouldn’t read it for understanding of women, but the book does have some decent insight into relationships. It gives advice like get your own life under control first, don’t be needy, etc. However, instead of giving advice on how to actually build a fulfilling life of your own, the book talks about how to fake it to catch a man. This manipulative bent is what turned me off.

As far as advice for women goes, David Clare recommends Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl-A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship and Why Men Marry Bitches: A Woman’s Guide to Winning Her Man’s Heart.

But for those of you looking for insight into women’s psyche, Carlos Xuma suggested I read Women’s Infidelity: Living In Limbo: What Women Really Mean When They Say “I’m Not Happy”. Michelle Langley interviews women who have been unfaithful to their husbands, discusses their relationships, and listens to their thoughts and feelings.

Comments»

1. Denise - May 31, 2007

If you want to understand women try talking to one. If men want to marry bitches then why am I still single, I can be a total bitch.

2. Anonymous - June 2, 2007

Thanks for answering, Niels! I’ll be sure to check those out.

Granted I haven’t read any of those books yet, but I have this theory about why women (and men) might think that men like bitches. My theory is that:

1) Good-looking women are often bitches.
2) Men like good-looking women.

Given those two statements, one can draw the false conclusion that men like bitches, and that women should be more bitchy to attract men. However, what if men like good-looking women, despite the fact that they are bitches (and not because of it)? Then the previous conclusion goes right out the window. Any thoughts anyone?

3. Anonymous - June 3, 2007

It’s like when girls like aholes…yes we do like them no matter what we say and no matter how much we try not to. Men like bitches because they are harder to attain and all men like a challenge.