Ask Niels: Who am I to impose myself on other people? May 1, 2007
Posted by Niels in : How to, Other , trackback
Hi Niels,
To be good at this (meeting women, pickup, etc.), you have
to practice.
But practice means approaching strangers.
And here is my sticking point: I can’t get over the sense that approaching complete strangers (who have not invited me) for a conversation is just very rude.
Who am I to impose my presence on groups of people who are out enjoying themselves just because there is some cutie among them?
So this sort of thing is keeping me from practicing these skills. Any ideas to help me out of this?
Cheers,
Hugh
The right attitude can make a huge difference when learning a new skill, and I can see why you’re struggling. You’re right, approaching strangers with the intention of starting a conversation with them, or stealing some cutie away, is rather presumptive. So don’t.
When you meet a stranger or a group of strangers, your only goal should be to make them smile. Cause them to have a better night because of you. Focus on that, because if you can’t do that, you’re never going get a conversation going, let alone get to know their cute friend.
So get out there and make a stranger smile! It’s not that hard. If you can’t do it yet, find someone to help you learn.
Comments»
People are people! Make people smile!
I was at BBB the other day, and said hi to the cashier by name (they have name tags for a reason you know). I smiled and was cheerful and asked how he was doing. He said fine, and asked me if I was having a good day cause I was in a good mood. It was Monday! If you can’t have a good Monday, then you’re week is probably already shot. Might as well have a good one, amiright?
Oh, also I casually asked if he had one of those 20% off coupons lying around, and he hooked me up. Just cause I was friendly.
You have the power! The people you interact with on a daily basis are affected by you, and you by them! Make life better!
It really helped that the weather was nice.