Cheap resources for understanding women and relationships May 31, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Ask Niels, Dating coach , 3 commentsDear Niels,
I’m not sure what the proper forum is for posting “Ask Niels” questions, but I’ll just post it here in the comments section, in the hopes you’ll read it. In case, we can’t take a class like “art of attraction” in person, are there any materials you recommend reading (either online or books)? I’ve heard “The Game” is good for guys, although I’m wondering what your take is on the book. And are reading books like “The Rules” useful for understanding women as well?
My list of recommended reading can be found here.
I’ve read The Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right
As far as advice for women goes, David Clare recommends Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl-A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship
But for those of you looking for insight into women’s psyche, Carlos Xuma suggested I read Women’s Infidelity: Living In Limbo: What Women Really Mean When They Say “I’m Not Happy”
Europe, round 3: London, Ibiza, France, ?… May 29, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Dating coach, Personal , 3 comments
I’m off to London again for another round of workshops. Daniel Johnson is coming with me to head Art of Rapport, and I’ll be heading Art of Attraction the following weekend. Daniel and I had an awesome time together running Pickup 101’s first ever Australian workshop, and I’m looking forward to exploring yet another country with him. We’ll be joined by a bunch of our rockstar students from previous workshops and I can’t wait to hear what they’ve been up to since I’ve been gone.
In between workshops another instructor and I will be headed to Ibiza to participate in the biggest club scene in the world. The clubs of the beaches of Ibiza hold up to 10,000 people. Crazy.
And when the workshops are over… It’s vacation time again! I’ve been practicing my French because I think I’m feeling Toulouse and Paris this time. Maybe a bit of Amsterdam… We’ll see.
Your thoughts?Dammit Citibank, I don’t understand WTF you’re saying! May 26, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Personal , 11 commentsI make it a habit to pay off my credit card balances in full every month. However, due to a recent email mishap, I was three days late on a payment for my Citi Dividend card. I made the minimum payment on time, thanks to my automatic bill pay, but the bill wasn’t paid in full until a few days after.
This month, I noticed a $1.29 finance charge on my bill. I expected a few pennies of interest from the late payment, but over a dollar? So I emailed Citibank. Maybe you can make some sense of the conversation:
how was this charge computed?
05/25/07 05:11:07 PM 1 of 1
You wrote:On my most recent statement I have the charge:
05/14 05/14 00000000 PURCHASES*FINANCE CHARGE*PERIODIC RATE Standard Purch 1.29
Could you explain how this was computed? It seems larger than I expected for being three days late with a payment.
Re: how was this charge computed?
05/25/07 06:55:01 PM 1 of 1
Customer Service Wrote:Paying your balance in full by the payment due date saves you money because it allows you to take advantage of your 20-25 day grace period on purchases. If you wish to take advantage of this period, simply make sure that we receive your full payment by the payment due date.
However, if we do not receive your full payment by the payment due date every month, the finance charges for purchases will begin to accrue from the date the transaction is added to your balance. They will continue to accrue until payment in full is credited to your account. This means that when you make your final payment on these balances, you will pay interest for the time between the date your last statement prints and the date your payment is credited to your account.
Once you have paid your account in full by the payment due date for two consecutive months, you may again be able to take advantage of the 20-25 day grace period.
Thank you for using our website.
RE: how was this charge computed?
05/25/07 07:28:21 PM 1 of 1
You wrote:So to clarify - if I pay my bill on time, but not in full, then on future bills I am charged interest for the time between my statement date and the date my payment is credited to my account?
RE: how was this charge computed?
05/25/07 09:32:05 PM 1 of 1
Customer Service Wrote:We calculate your finance charges in the following manner:
The daily balance for purchases and cash advances is multiplied by the daily periodic rate each day of the billing period, including the statement closing date. The daily balance includes the beginning balance for purchases and cash advances, plus new transactions and finance charges from the previous day, minus any new payments or credits. The balance subject to finance charges equals the total of all daily balances for the billing period, divided by the number of days in the billing period. The finance charge for purchases and cash advances is the balance subject to finance charges, multiplied by the number of days in the billing period and then by the daily periodic rate.
Thank you for using our website.
Seriously, do they pay someone to make this unintelligible? I was inches away from getting a Ph.D. in engineering and I can’t even understand the last message.
I think they’re telling me that if I don’t pay my balance in full, then for the next two months I will be charged interest starting from the day my statement is printed. Even if the payment due date is three weeks after the statement date, I’ll still be charged interest for that time.
To clarify - even though I didn’t miss a payment due date, I will still be charged interest on future purchases, even if I pay them off before the payment due date as well. I’m pissed. Time to look for a new credit card.
Your thoughts?Open your mouth and close your eyes… May 25, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Personal , 4 comments
I travel to experience new cultures. I don’t want to wander around in a tour group, looking at a culture from the outside. I want to meet the locals, and I certainly don’t want to eat at restaurants whose menus have English translations. As a result, approximately 75% of my meals are absolutely delicious, while another 25% are… dining adventures.
My last night in Florence, I ordered a dish at one restaurant that was something with tomato and basil. I didn’t know what that something was, but I figured I’m in Italy – anything with tomato and basil must be good, right? I ordered, and the water asked me, “Medium?” I looked puzzled, so he said again, “Medium? Or rare?”
Ah, the something is a kind of meat! So I ordered it rare, naturally.
I was excited. And then it arrived. I took a look at the quivering mass of grey matter on my plate and realized, “Oh my God, I’ve ordered brain.” And of course, I had to order it raw.
Except of course, it wasn’t. Turns out entrecoat isn’t brain, it’s just a cut of beef near the ribs. But I suppose it’s only a matter of time…
Your thoughts?In the Blink of an eye - trust your intuition May 24, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Life, the universe, and everything, Links , 11 comments
A commenter on my recent post Address the Emotions, not the Logic said this:
You can’t just watch a couple interact for a couple of minutes and then make these big judgements about them. You have no idea what they’re usually like, or how significant these different events are to them.
But John Gottman, a world renowned social psychologist, would beg to differ.
There is the story of the psychologist John Gottman, who since the 1980’s has worked with more than 3,000 married couples in a small room, his ”love lab,” near the University of Washington. He videotapes them having a conversation. Reviewing just an hour’s worth of each tape, Gottman has been able to predict with 95 percent accuracy whether that couple will be married 15 years later. If he watches only 15 minutes of tape, his success rate is about 90 percent. Scientists in his lab have determined they can usually predict whether a marriage will work after watching just three minutes of newlywed conversation.
(From the New York Times review of Malcolm Gladwell’s Blink