Ask Niels: I want to be part of the conversation April 7, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Beauty and the Geek, How to, Other , trackback
I watched you in the last episode of BATG and noticed a similarity with a problem I am currently having in life, I was wondering if you have a way to get rid of this…
The issue is when sitting amongst friends, while they chat and laugh and stuff, I just sit there looking “gormless” as they put it :( and I smile every now and then…and talk every no and then…but not like them…
-Dave
First of all Dave, let me introduce you to the number one rule of social interaction. It is this:
SMILE!
Smiling “every now and then” is not enough. Slap a stupid smile on your face and don’t take it off all evening. I was in Paris recently, out with a bunch of people whose language I didn’t speak. I had no idea what the conversation was about. So I just smiled. All the time, no matter what. And guess what? People came up to talk to me. If you’re a fun person, people will work to include you in the conversation.
But it’s not their responsibility. It’s yours. If you want to be part of the conversation, then start talking! I talked about keeping a conversation going in my post How to Keep a Conversation Going. Pay attention, and jump in when you have something to say. Have the confidence to believe that your thoughts are valuable. Listen to other people. It’s easy to sit back and let the conversation just wash over you. Or you could put some effort in and become a better conversationalist.
It won’t happen overnight, but it happens faster than you would think.
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