Attraction vs. entertainment April 4, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Other, Personal , trackback
In Famous in Phoenix, I discussed my experience being mobbed by women. Girls I’d never met would come up to me, paw me, grind on me, etc etc. Just by virtue of being on TV, I was desirable.
Or so it seemed. It certainly looked like attraction - a huge emotional spike, laughing and giggling, lots of touching. And if I hadn’t been doing this for so long, it probably would have fooled me. Seriously, when a girl screams your name and runs up and throws her arms around you, what are you supposed to think?
But it wasn’t attraction. It was something else. Something that looked exactly like attraction but wasn’t. It was strange. I’d never seen it before. One of the other instructors had, however - but it took a lot of discussion before we finally made the connection.
One of his friends (a guy who had been going out to bars for quite a long time, in fact) used to use magic tricks to start a conversation with girls. And it always worked. The girls would be hooked, amazed, enthralled. They’d have a huge emotional reaction. They’d touch him. “NO WAY! (push him) How’d you do that?!” He was in. The girls weren’t going anywhere. But then he’d try to flirt, or just have a conversation and the girls would say, “No! Do another magic trick!”
He wasn’t being attractive. He was being the entertainment.
I’d never experienced that before because I never used “gimmicks” to start a conversation. If you’re one of those guys who does, maybe you need to take a step back and reexamine your situation. You can take your magic tricks, or tarot cards, or rune stones, or whatever, out to a bar and use them to start a conversation. But are the people you’re talking to interested in you, or are they interested in your tricks? If the first impression you make is “performer”, it’s so easy to fall into the trap of becoming a dancing monkey.
That’s what happened to me in Phoenix. Yes, every eye in the bar was on me. Yes, guys and girls were buying me drinks all night. Yes, people were stopping me every other minute to take a photo with me. Yes, girls were molesting me every time I walked past. But for most of them, I was just the entertainment.
Attraction is sparked by attractive qualities that are part of who you are. It’s not something you “generate” with tricks and gimmicks. Find a workshop like Art of Attraction that can teach you to display your own attractive qualities from the very first second you meet someone.
Don’t be entertaining. Be attractive.
Comments»
While you may be entertainment for some people, for some of us you are attractive. Seeing you on tv allowed us to see your attractive qualities(along with your not so attractive qualities, but hey you’re only human).
Being a minor celeb will get you interest, but that’s it. They’ll mob you but they’re not going to drop their panties. You are falling into their fan frame where they want to touch and take photos with a real live person from TV, and you oblige them.
You need to run celeb game and get sexual immediately. Grab a girl, isolate her, and makeout. Tell her you want to take her back to the hotel and fuck her. Point blank, “Hey, let’s fuck.” Celebs will break rapport and bluntly bring up sex. They impose the groupie frame and weed out fans.
You risk a Kobe Bryant or Mike Tyson situation if girls believe they are in the fan frame and end up having sex when are they are caught up in the moment in being with a celeb. You must let them know upfront that you are about sex.
Anonymous - That’s awful! Have you not been paying attention to what Niels has been saying about wanting to find a quality person? Also, not all celebrities use their fans for sex.
anonymous- i agree with denise. that’s really mean. Niels is a quality person that won’t use people to warm his bed. He’s a really sweet person =)
Niels, you’re a great person who doesn’t deserve to get disses from people like Anonymous. Keep it up with being a dating coach. girls need to dig for guys like you, or the ones who have had training from you =)
Bollocks!!, if you ask her for sex and she says yes , that is perfectly kosher.
Unless she asks you for money, in which case its solicitation.
Just be a litle subtle about it, so as not to seem crude to everyone around you.
I shall quote warren beaty:-
“You get slapped a lot, but you get fucked a lot too!”