Famous again March 23, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Beauty and the Geek, Personal , 5 commentsWell, my two weeks of anonymity in Europe were fun, but they’re over now. I made it as far as the food court in the Newark airport before someone asked to take a photo of me. And Phoenix has been ridiculous. The desk clerk at the hotel recognized me when I checked in, along with the greeters at the restaurant I went to afterwards, several hotel guests, and countless people left and right when I went out to the bars tonight.
The high point of the evening, though, may have been this conversation:
Drunk dude: “Hey! I recognize you!”
Me: “Hey man, what’s up?”
blah blah blah conversation blah blah blah
Me: “It’s a bit of a sausagefest in here!”
Drunk dude now hanging off my shoulders: “Yeah… thank God!”
It’s ok, gay guys need D-list celebrity sightings, too.
Your thoughts?Phoenix phoenix bo-beanix March 22, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Dating coach , add a comment
Well, it’s not Paris, but I do hear good things about ASU. I’m trading my baguettes for beer - Get ready Phoenix, because here we come! Give me one day to recover from my jet lag and the other instructors and I will be out on the town tomorrow. This weekend is Phoenix’s first ever Art of Rapport and the town’s never going to be the same.
Paris, je t’aim… March 21, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Personal , 6 comments
London, you’re out. Paris, you’re in. If I had to pick any city in the world to live in, it’s got to be Paris or New York.
Paris is beautiful. I remember walking around with a friend one night and all of a sudden this beautiful building rises up in front of us. “What’s that?” I asked. He had no idea, of course. In Paris, beautiful buildings are everywhere.
All the food is fresh. What a change from London’s prepackaged food everywhere! The pieces of bread I got for free at the local bar were as good as the best baguettes I’ve found in the US. Chocolate eclairs have chocolate in them! As does the granola, Special K, cornflakes, and Cocoa puffs.
The one city that could give Paris a run for its money is Rome. That’s on the schedule for next trip.
Your thoughts?Flirting for math geeks March 20, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Links , 26 comments
Ah, I remember spending years as a dateless engineer. Sometimes the only way to keep from crying was being able to laugh about it.
Ask Niels: How do I get into a social mood? March 19, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Ask Niels, Dating coach, How to , 15 comments
Anyways, I was at a party last night and had one of the worst “performances” of my life. Like you, I’m an introvert, but I’m usually pretty friendly and talkative at the parties I’ve been going to lately. Mostly, that’s because I’m already friendly with most of the people there, but I’ve also put more effort into being deliberately social. Last night, however, I just froze and hardly said anything until warming up a bit at the end, and I have no doubt that it was obvious to everyone there… pretty embarrassing!
Do you have any advice about “snapping out of it” or forcing yourself to be social when you just don’t feel like it?
Thanks!
chris
I’m going to go out on a limb here - I’m willing to bet that you showed up at that party by yourself. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but if you show up and you’re all in your own head, it’s hard to break out of that and be social. So here’s the key - make sure you’re in a social mood BEFORE you arrive at the party. It’s why people pre-party. (Or was that only at my college?) If you go to a party with a bunch of your friends, you’re already social and ready to talk by the time you get there.
When I go out to bars with students, I make them do warmups on the street. Ask people for the time or for directions. Just 5-second conversations, but they get you out of your head and ready to talk to strangers. If you can’t find people to warm up with on the street, warm up as soon as you get to the party. Talk to the bouncer/host/door guy. Walk inside and talk to the first people you see. It doesn’t have to be long, just ask them if they’re having fun tonight, or how the party is. Don’t “force” yourself to be social. Just trick yourself into a social mood and let things flow.
Your thoughts?