Ask Niels: How do I leave an unsuccessful conversation? March 13, 2007
Posted by Niels in : How to, Other , trackback
I went to a bar last night with some guys from my corporate softball team. We lost the game and were drinking pretty hard. After they left, I walked over to a girl that I had been eyeing at the bar. I walked up to her and her friends, and struck up a conversation and used a lot of your blog advice to keep it going. After about 10 minutes she pointed to the other girl who was somewhat irritated by my presence and said, “this is my lesbian girlfriend”. Alright, so I was hitting on lesbians. I didn’t really know how to extricate myself from the conversation, so I pretty much just continued for awhile and then told them I needed to go take a whizz and bolted out the door. My question is, what is the best way to extricate yourself from these “clearly unsuccessful ventures”?
Sincerely,
“Cock blocked by lesbians”
Well, CBBL, before I answer your question, I can’t help pointing out a few details.
1) You were irritating her friends
2) They’re probably not lesbians
I wasn’t there, so I don’t know what you were doing to annoy her friend. But next time, stop it. Don’t ignore her friend, include her in the conversation. Don’t make the girl you like uncomfortable either. Are you familiar with the concept of psychological space? And finally, even they are lesbians, so what? Were you enjoying the conversation? If so, stick around and chat with them some more. If not, what are you doing hanging around such a boring girl anyway?
But with regard to your question, here’s a no fail line to get you out of any conversation: “Hey, I’ve got to go find my friends. It was great talking to you. Have a great night!”
Comments»
The thing is, everyone knows you’re not really looking for your friends, but they don’t really care either way.
You should have asked if she was interested in a kinky three-some.
You usually have to engage the entire group and befriend her friends, as Mystery says, or else it’s bad social manners that will cause her friends to act up.
Women don’t exist in a social vacuum. They care about what their friends think. Failing to win over her friends makes you look bad, and for her to keep talking to a guy who has demonstrated that he is not socially saavy would make her look even worse in front of her social group. That’s why she made up the lesbian excuse to get rid of you.
If you haven’t charmed her friends more than you have charmed her, you rarely have a chance unless you can convince the girl you’re interested in that it doesn’t matter.
But in that case you’ve made it more difficult on yourself. In which case, you sound like me. i love a challenge.