Ask Niels: Top 5 tips for making new friends February 25, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Personal , trackback
We’re interested in test-driving some of your dating tips for the story that we are writing about you. I was wondering if it would be possible to condense the essence of Niels into say, 4-5 guidelines? Like you were, I am a student in the magnet and hope to retrace your steps in becoming a more social person for the sidebar that I’m writing.
- Set realistic short term goals. Start by saying “hi” to one stranger every day.
- Be confident. Your confidence is communicated instantly and perfectly by your body language. Fix your body language.
- Leave people better than you found them. When you meet someone new, your only goal should be to put a smile on their face as quickly as possible. Anything after that is of secondary importance.
- Open yourself up emotionally. Making a real emotional connection with someone you care about will take any relationship to a new level.
- Have fun. If the process of self-improvement stops feeling like fun and starts feeling like work, then your progress will grind to a halt.
Comments»
But Niels, what about if you are so confident and aggressive that people find you weird? When I am out and about, I may even be taken aback if a guy was too persistent with me. I’m assuming you realize you need balance, but how would one find that balance? Practice?
By the way, this is by no means something I meant to be insulting to you. I was talking about other guys (not you!) lol. I wouldn’t ever suggest the great Niels is wrong, because you obviously know what you are doing.
When someone says “be confident” it’s easier said than done. Yes, there is practice, but sometimes it’s just frustrating.
Becoming more confident by no means implies that you will also be more aggressive. Many people act arrogant as a way to compensate for their insecurities. Truely confident people never have to say how cool they are because they already like the way they are and are confident enough to not need anyone’s approval.
When you are confident, you are not afraid to be yourself and don’t care what others think of you. What’s weird about a guy who is out having a good time and wants to make your day a little bit more fun, besides the fact that these kinds of guys are rare?
No, the guys that maybe creep you out, very likely have issues with confidence or respect for women. Some guys are creepy because they don’t feel that they are good enough for you to like them for who they are so they may try to lie or decieve you in some way. These guys have a huge lack of confidence.
True though, you do need practice. Many guys who are just starting out do not have that confidence. But the only way to become more confident is to start conversations with women and make it something you’re familiar and comfortable with. And this is what does take practice.
ur cute