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Video: Hidden camera pickup February 21, 2007

Posted by Niels in : Dating coach, Personal , trackback


The smart, successful, intelligent, sexy people you want in your life are not out partying at bars every night. But they’ve got to go grocery shopping sometime! And contrary to popular belief, it’s easy to meet people during the day. It just boils down to one central tenet: Don’t be creepy.

The best part of meeting people during the day is that there’s no competition. Who’s confident enough to walk up to a complete stranger in broad daylight and start a conversation? No one… except me. And my students, of course. Pickup 101’s Art of Rapport is all about meeting people during the daytime and then making an emotional connection. It’s about opening your soul, breaking down those walls, and stripping away the layers of BS that you’ve used for years to cut yourself off from other people. It’s not just about sex. It’s about emotional intimacy, and that’s a learnable skill.

Comments»

1. Jacki - February 21, 2007

Still stuck on the tour guide thing, huh? :)

2. Asian Playboy - February 21, 2007

Coolness.

3. Shannon - February 21, 2007

That was awesome, I as a women agree that it is all about not being creepy and just having the guts to talk. But alas i have no guts and have trouble just going up to guys. heh oh well.

4. urcute - February 21, 2007

ur cute

5. dap - February 21, 2007

Holy Crap!..hahaha. You used that starbucks line again, but it ended up working this time. That is really cool. Some people respond better than others. Some people just hate strangers all together and don’t bother talking and give you that mean stare like “Why are you even talking to me, I don’t know you”..hahaha. Some people don’t mind talking to strangers, while others already put up that thick wall no matter how charming you may seem. The video was cool.

6. Brittany - February 21, 2007

Girls like guys who listen to them, I’m afraid you talked way to much about yourself in this clip.

Good job talking to her in the first place tho.

I still think your adorable :)

7. Anonymous - February 22, 2007

yeah… so how do you pick up guys? lol

8. Anna - February 22, 2007

LOL… Aww too bad that I wasn’t back at SF witnessing this. She guessed that you were an architecture.. funny..

9. Tambo - February 22, 2007

Anonymous, a fireman carry will usually do the trick.

Brittany, that’s because she was not offering much feedback, she was asking questions, and he turned them from boring everyday conversation into something fun. Women do like to talk about themselves but they have to feel comfortable first.

Dap,the line worked better this time because his improved confidence and better tone and body language. I could really sense the difference between then (on BatG) and now, big time.

10. Jake - February 22, 2007

I dig it.

11. swiss - February 22, 2007

haha tambo…i concur jake

12. Pi - February 22, 2007

Niels,

You stud. Oh, and your impression of me was dead on! :)

Be easy.

13. Tambo - February 22, 2007

Yeah those impression were, I thought, the highlight of tonight’s episode.

14. Daniel - February 22, 2007

Hi Niels. I work with people who are emotionally, socially and sexually anorexic. What you said here, “It’s about opening your soul, breaking down those walls, and stripping away the layers of BS that you’ve used for years to cut yourself off from other people. It’s not just about sex. It’s about emotional intimacy, and that’s a learnable skill.” is exactly right on. Many of these people do come off as creepy exactly because they try to swing from totally “cut off” to complete harmonious bliss.

It’s also helpful to understand that the people you approach might also lack these social and emotional skills which might look like rejection or non-interest.

Good luck with your new profession.

15. Gobo - February 22, 2007

Women never ask men personal questions. For example, if you were to ask her how was your weekend? She would never ask you how your weekend was. Modern women are very self absorbed.

16. actives - February 22, 2007

Not bad, sir!

Day game sure beats the hell out of yelling over Bob Sinclar while making sure her friend approves and boxing out some AFC.

17. Lisa - February 22, 2007

That was the most awesome video ever! HAHA, I really need to learn how to approach a random person on the street reading a map. Well, it was a plus that you’re cute because I would totally freak out of a stranger just asked me to go have lunch with him. And since she wasn’t a shy person, so it went well. Anyway, that was just awesome!

18. Marisa - February 23, 2007

I love it Niels! You were so awesome and you made the Starbucks lind work! I can’t believe you went into such detail with your conversation, but you ARE amazing!

Keep us posted with more vids!

19. Marisa - February 23, 2007

Sorry, my mistake Starbucks line* not lind

20. Kev - February 23, 2007

Awesome video. Strolls in, light kino. And leans back for good body language. By the second part, she was turning towards you. Why not put up the entire video :)

Heres one for the Engineers.

21. rios - February 23, 2007

niels man,

that’s a great video and approaching girls randomly is definitely something that scares the crap out of me, even though the times i’ve tried it and gotten rejected didn’t hurt that bad.

anyway, i’d say the only thing missing from that video is footage of you listening to her and reacting off her verbal cues. maybe that was edited for privacy reasons on her part but i think that’s a big reason guys fail. we don’t listen and just want to talk about ourselves right away to impress them.

22. swiss - February 24, 2007

::sigh:: damn niels, your confidence is so damned sexy

23. Jenny - February 24, 2007

Hey Neils,
Cool video. By the way where is your art of attraction classes located? I remember you said something about SF and I live there. I would have definitely let you pick me up if I saw you in downtown union square. Luv ya!

24. Lahaina Joy - February 24, 2007

I totally agree with having the guts to just walk up to us women and bring up an ACTUAL conversation!i totally love the fact that you just went up to some random girl (if only it was me haha)it shows that your not scared to get out of your comfort zone , now if only other guys who actually are decent comes up to women…i mean the ones usually coming up to us are those that give a player vibe…we need more sweet guys to get out of their comfort zone like you did ! hopefully other shy guys see that were not that hard to talk to ! and just cuz one girl gives you the cold shoulder doesnt mean that were all like that!

25. Niels’ Hidden Camera Pickup at Null Dharma - February 25, 2007

[…] http://www.nielshoven.com/2007/02/21/video-hidden-camera-pickup/ […]

26. Bethany G. - February 25, 2007

Nice one. ;)

Loving that Pixies song, too. I’m still trying to learn that one on guitar.

27. your fan - February 26, 2007

And the starbucks worked on top of the difference in event (being prepared.. even though he probably was on the geek show), the personality of the pickup and everything else..I think Niel was also more comfortable this time.. and felt better about a real pickup.. say being friends with the girl than getting someone’s phone number who he’ll most likely never talk to again.. it’s all about the feeling, feeling comfortable, and whether or not you really wanna do it.