Ask Niels: I’m scared to call (a phone game tutorial) February 16, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Other , trackback
Recently a crush from my past has entered back into my life. He’s great and I really like him, but I am incredibly shy around him. He called me last weekend, but I was ill and couldn’t do anything. I finally got the guts to call him on Wednesday, and he told me that Saturday would be a good night to hang out. He asked me to call him on Saturday and I am terrified. I don’t know what to say or anything. Do you have any suggestions for my dilemma? I know you probably get an unbelievable amount of comments and mail daily, but I’d really appreciate your input. :)
-Emily
I recently placed a call that was one of the worst phone performances of my life. I was in a rush, so I just picked up the phone and dialed, and almost immediately realized I had no idea what I was going to say. Of course the conversation tanked and I felt like an idiot.
I felt like an idiot because the solution is so simple, and I’d done it a thousand times before. The solution is to know what you’re going to say before you dial. It doesn’t take much, just something to inject some energy into the first minute of the conversation. Once you get the ball rolling, conversation is easy. It’s overcoming that initial inertia that’s tricky. So plan for it. Before you call, think of something interesting that happened to you recently, something that you can get excited about when you call. If you get excited, your friend will get excited, and the conversation will flow naturally.
For example:
You: Hi John, it’s Emily!
Him: Hi, Emily, how’s it going? (they always ask this)
You: GREAT! I was at the supermarket this afternoon and I bought a jar of Fluffernutter! It’s peanut butter and marshmallow all together in one! I’m pretty sure it’s going to be disgusting, but I had to try it!…
That’s it. Let the conversation flow, and as soon as the energy starts to die, set up the date and get off the phone. And if you really want to nail it down, you can even make a few practice calls to a friend first.
Comments»
This is great advise. I have always had the problem of becoming really nervous before a phone call. I am going to keep this in mind. I know, it sounds so simple but my thoughts keep drifting to the negative things that might go wrong in a conversation. Anyway, thanks for answering, and Emily, thanks for having the nerve to ask!
ur cute
True. You can’t always just expect the other person to have something interesting to say right off the bat. Sometimes the other person does, but remember, YOU are calling HIM, so be prepared. It’s akward when someone calls you for apparently no reason, and if it’s someone you don’t know really well it can even be a little creepy.
Another good time to call is when you are doing something really fun, like having a great time hanging out with friends. It shows 1. that you have a life and 2. it helps immediatley create a positive vibe with lots of energy that naturally leads to a positive interaction.
I never know what I’m going to say when I talk to someone. I just basically have a go at it. Scripting and making sure to touch base upon commonalities is too perfect. I like to start off with what I’m doing.
I am a drama queen. If I made a grab for the last lettuce in the supermarket, I’ll make a whole little story about it and link it to why I was there in the first place & the fact that being quick and aggressive with a lettuce makes me unique and special.
Its about self-confidence. If he wants you to call its typically handing off the ball. Run with it. If the conversation bombs, you can always add “Wow, uncomfortable huh? Or maybe this is good…I always enjoyed conversations with long awkward moments full of coughing” Its a guaranteed laugh.
Good luck & good advice
.v. =)