Meet me in person February 28, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Ask Niels, Dating coach , 5 commentshi niels!
are you ever planning on making a visit to the university of illinois at urbana-champaign while you’re on this awesome dating crusade?
i’m in one of those really, uh, “late bloomer” dating positions myself, and i thought it would be neat/hilarious/helpful to hear you talk about your entire understanding of interpersonal connections.
I actually gave a fantastically well received seminar on attraction last Sunday in Los Angeles. I’ve got another coming up next weekend where I’ll be talking about really connecting with people and meeting people during the day. I’ve spoken to groups in San Francisco and Brisbane, as well as teleseminars to various cities, and I always have fun.
I’d love to come out wherever people want to hear me. If there’s a decent-sized group that would like to hear me talk and you can come up with a way to cover my expenses, I’ll come out to you.
Your thoughts?Ask Niels: How do I deal with rejection? February 28, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Ask Niels, Dating coach, How to , 7 comments
I have another quick question. I am sure you can attest to this. what is the best way to deal with rejection. I approached a couple of guys over the past few years that i have been interested in and they all turned me down. Now if I were a guy and found out a girl was interested in me i would give her a chance. But what is up with the constant “not interested”, “oh there is a girl i like at home” etc. I dont believe all these excuses anymore and its making me uncomfortable so I then place blame on myself ie. how I look.
Some people don’t want to drive a BMW. Some people just want to drive a Ford. If they don’t want what you’re selling, find someone else who does. Just make sure your product is the best it can be. And you have to really believe that.
The other way to deal with rejection is just to get used to it. When I go out with students at night, we approach hundreds of people in a single night. And I’m not exaggerating. When you approach that many people, you make a lot of people smile. But you also get rejected a lot. And guess what? It’s not that bad. It’s not going to kill you. When you get rejected once a year, it really really stings. But when you get rejected 10 times in a night, it really puts things in perspective.
You could have 10 rejections in a row, but if they’re followed by one incredible conversation, you’re going home feeling great.
Your thoughts?Featured in my high school newspaper February 27, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Beauty and the Geek, Links , 3 comments
I was featured in my high school’s student newspaper, Silver Chips.
Your thoughts?During his four years in the Magnet, he was a Presidential Scholar nominee and a National Advanced Placement Scholar who earned perfect SAT scores. “My time in the Blair Magnet taught me to push my own limits,” he said. “It also made me a big geek.”
Ask Niels: How does attraction work in an low-energy environment? February 27, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Ask Niels, Dating coach, How to , 3 comments
Hey Niels,
I was wondering if the material you guys teach in AoA can be used in low-energy enviroments like a college library, coffee shop or just walking around campus? Or should I just stick with the high energy places like bars and clubs? I have to admit i’m one of those guys who uses “Who lies more” in any situation, so i’m a little confused about it.
-Nick
If you’re still thinking of this process as learning “material”, you’re still going about this all wrong. It’s not about learning words you can say to pretend to be an attractive, confident person. It’s about actually transforming yourself, becoming an attractive, confident person, and ingraining these new traits into your body.
Once you’ve become an attractive person, you’re attractive no matter where you are. You’re attractive in a bar at night, you’re attractive on the sidewalk during the day (see hidden camera video proof). That’s what Art of Attraction is all about.
Your thoughts?Ask Niels: Top 5 tips for making new friends February 25, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Ask Niels , 5 comments
We’re interested in test-driving some of your dating tips for the story that we are writing about you. I was wondering if it would be possible to condense the essence of Niels into say, 4-5 guidelines? Like you were, I am a student in the magnet and hope to retrace your steps in becoming a more social person for the sidebar that I’m writing.
- Set realistic short term goals. Start by saying “hi” to one stranger every day.
- Be confident. Your confidence is communicated instantly and perfectly by your body language. Fix your body language.
- Leave people better than you found them. When you meet someone new, your only goal should be to put a smile on their face as quickly as possible. Anything after that is of secondary importance.
- Open yourself up emotionally. Making a real emotional connection with someone you care about will take any relationship to a new level.
- Have fun. If the process of self-improvement stops feeling like fun and starts feeling like work, then your progress will grind to a halt.