More excessive fan love January 28, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Beauty and the Geek, Photos , 15 comments
Less permanent than a tattoo, but more permanent than a computer-generated tattoo, this poster is courtesy of Lisa, who brought it to the Keith Ablow show only to discover she “would be the only weirdo holding a poster.”
“A” for effort.
Your thoughts?Niels Bohr is a has-been! January 27, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Links , 16 comments
I’m in the top ten for a google search for “Niels”! Awesome.
Watch your back, Niels t’ Hooft - I’m coming for you next!
Your thoughts?Ask Niels: I’m scared to talk to a stranger January 26, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Ask Niels, Dating coach, How to , 11 comments
I have the most problems approaching guys. I have issues with my personality/looks. I just kind of figure no guy will ever want to talk with me, let alone be attracted to me. So that leads to my lack of confidence in trying to meet guys. For example, when it comes to guys I want to meet in my lecture classes. There’s such a small chance I’ll ever be near them, so it’d be kind of weird to just go up and talk to a guy (in my opinion. now whether that’s true or not, i have no idea.).
-Jeanette
This is a great question, Jeanette. First of all, congratulations on asking for help in the first place. You’ve taken that huge first step of saying, “OK, maybe it is possible to improve my social skills, and maybe it’s worth a little effort to find out more.” Most people aren’t even willing to take that step.
I hear over and over again that the most common fear is the fear of public speaking. But I think that’s wrong. There’s an even more common fear that’s even more intense, and that’s the fear of approaching a stranger, the fear of rejection. But we never hear about this fear because it’s so intense that very few people overcome it. Whereas many people are forced into public speaking through work or school, most people are willing to put in whatever time and effort are necessary to avoid talking to a stranger.
The key is to move in the direction you want, but to take small steps.
- This week, make it a point to smile and say “Hi” to one stranger each day.
- Next week, smile and say “Hi” to five strangers each day.
- On week three, smile at five people a day and ask them for directions.
- Finally, on week four, smile at five people a day and ask them for directions. Then introduce yourself politely and ask their name. Ask how their day is going. And you’re having a conversation.
Not so bad, is it? A month in and you’ve talked to a hundred new people. Find a supportive friend and have fun with it.
Your thoughts?Stalker update January 26, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Beauty and the Geek, Photos , 324 comments
Lauren has been busy.
Your thoughts?I’m in the Maryland Gazette January 25, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Beauty and the Geek, Dating coach, Links , 3 comments
The Maryland Gazette has a pretty nice article about me and the changes I’ve made in my life.
Her brother is much more social, Kristin Hoven said, and as a result, the siblings have also become closer. Her brother was often private, she said, and did not really share his emotions or confide in people.
‘‘I feel like I’m getting to know a new side of him,” she said, adding he’s been very dedicated to his transformation. ‘‘… He just seems much happier and lighter now.”
Your thoughts?When they were college roommates, Dos Santos was the outgoing one, he said, and would usually introduce Hoven to people at parties. But the two recently went to a friend’s wedding and at the reception, Hoven ‘‘was like a totally different person,” Dos Santos said. ‘‘All of a sudden he was off on his own, holding his own with new people.”
Dos Santos said he feels like he and Hoven are closer friends now, and are better able to relate to each other.