Beauty and the Geek in New York: Behind the scenes (day 2) January 31, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Beauty and the Geek, Photos , 23 comments
While Day 1 was a little slow, Day 2 picked up with Scooter, Megan, Jennylee, and I on the WPIX morning news. Nate and Cecille headed off to TRL, and I think the girls had a radio show that afternoon. I spent the afternoon buying a new coat because the jacket I brought from California was not cutting it in the -10 degree weather. By the end of my visit, the mid twenties felt warm.
There was a brief moment when we considered watching last week’s episode in our hotel room, but we decided a cast party at McFadden’s Saloon would be a much better option.
There’s plenty of room for dancing, as long as you’re creative!
Beauty and the Geek in Times Square!
Beauty and the Geek Fanmail Wednesday January 31, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Beauty and the Geek , 4 comments
It’s been a while since I answered any fanmail, so here goes. As is tradition, I will be making up names for you guys.
Barry Muffletta: How much filming is there? Are there like a bunch of film crews running around the mansion?
We’re on camera 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. There are hidden cameras all over the mansion, plus film crews (whom we’re not allowed to interact with) present during most of the day. We get to relax a little bit on the weekends when the film crews leave, but there are always cameras on us and rolling.
Whatdus Ahahmean: So how does it feel being “famous”, ahah since you’re now on television?
While the experience of being in the mansion has led to some huge changes in my life, actually being on TV has hardly affected me at all. I don’t get recognized that much, and I just watch the show with a small group of my old friends. The biggest change is that now people actually read my blog, which makes me feel like my advice can actually make a difference in someone’s life. If you’ve got a question about dating or relationships, send it to askniels AT nielshoven DOT com.
Floggy Tittlekins: Since you’re a mix of chinese and scandinavian, which side do you keep more in touch with? Like do you celebrate any chinese holidays, or even speak chinese?
I’m pretty Americanized. I grew up on Chinese food and still cook a lot of stir-fry, but we’ve really lost touch with my family’s heritage. Part of this comes from the fact that my parents were never that good at maintaining relationships, so I was never close with my extended family on either side. I would like to take some Chinese lessons when I have time, and I took a year of Norwegian at Berkeley in preparation for a trip to Scandinavia that will happen eventually.
Starry Wondereyes: Did Ankur give you any advice for your auditions?
He told me to tell Ashton that Demi has great boobs.
Your thoughts?Beauty and the Geek in New York: Behind the scenes (day 1) January 30, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Beauty and the Geek, Photos , 11 comments
Nadia, Erin, Cecille, Megan, Jennylee, Nate, Scooter, and I all met up in New York last week for a publicity tour. We hit Regis, the morning news, the Keith Ablow show, some radio shows, and Total Request Live (TRL).
Most of us got in late, so day 1 was spent checking into the hotel and catching up over food and beer.
Erin with Megan’s new puppy, Lily. Good thing Erin’s a vegetarian! That thing is bite-sized.
Waiting in the hallway. Certain cast members take a little longer to get ready…
Reunion! We hadn’t seen each other since the show was taped six months ago.
O RLY? Erin is cute when she laughs.
Not everyone who wears pants is a man January 30, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Dating coach, Personal , 17 comments
On my way home from San Francisco airport I had a great conversation with my taxi driver. Twenty years ago, he dated a girl 18 years younger than himself. She was a stunning Russian goddess who stopped traffic wherever she went. But she was ugly on the inside, and he knew it. So he refused to marry her, three, four times, until one night in Vegas she got him drunk and they were married.
17 days later, they were divorced and he lost everything. He has since remarried and is blissfully happy with a new wife who is beautiful on the inside, but he paid a very expensive lesson.
There are women out there who are gorgeous on the outside and ugly on the inside. I’ve met a couple, courtesy of Beauty and the Geek. They have no expenses - their food, rent, and $10,000 diamond earrings are paid for by the men they “date”.
But I don’t blame the men, or even the women. That’s how the world works today. We are a generation of men without role models, a generation of men who know how to please a woman only by throwing money at her. There are no real men left.
Or as my driver told me, there’s a Russian saying: “Not every man who rides a horse is a jockey.”
We’re going to change that, though.
Your thoughts?Ask Niels: How do I find a relationship? January 29, 2007
Posted by Niels in : Ask Niels, Dating coach, How to , 13 comments
Throughout my teenage years I’ve always been a so-called “popular” girl at school. The amount of attention I got from guys made me feel invincible and I took it for granted.
But after living in China for close to two years now, I feel like I’ve lost my appeal and my confidence, especially in relationships. Since living here I hardly dated, not because there aren’t enough guys around but probably because Chinese girls are just a lot easier to get.
Niels, how do I start dating again and regain my old confidence not to the invincible stage but at least enough for me to feel like I am still attractive and appealing to guys?
-Karrie
Dating in high school and college is great for learning about relationships. You learn about trust, compromise, communication, and all those other essential relationship skills. What you don’t learn is anything about meeting people in the real world.
Meeting people in an academic environment is a totally different scene because you have huge social circles and repeated contact with people. Didn’t talk to that cute guy today? No big deal, he’ll be in class tomorrow, too!
In the real world, however, someone has to take the initiative. Your popularity made you lazy - you just had to wait and your relationships came to you. You’re used to being propped up by a social ladder that you no longer have. Now all you have is who you are right now.
Without the crutch of daily classes, a first impression becomes so, so important. In most cases, a first impression is all that you get. If you’re lucky enough to randomly meet someone who might possibly be interesting and you don’t exchange contact information, you’ll probably never see them again.
So present yourself well. Take care of yourself and put some effort into your appearance. Looking good (fashion and grooming) is more important than good looks (getting lucky with genetics). Go to a bar - not to meet potential suitors, but to practice making a lot of first impressions in a very short span of time. Get good at flirting.
Art of Attraction is a three-day workshop on how to make a powerful first impression, but it’s targeted at men. I coach both men and women on the same topics (banter, body language, psychological space, friendly touching, and fashion), though I’m not aware of a similar workshop for women.
Become the most attractive version of yourself. Have fun and other people will want to come along for the ride. Keep track of your progress and draw confidence from how far you’ve come. Don’t compare yourself to other people. Remember, this is about you. Now go out and get sexy!
Your thoughts?