People magazine, you’ve made an enemy tonight! December 30, 2006
Posted by Niels in : Beauty and the Geek , 6 commentsAnyone who thinks it’s easy to find a copy of People Magazine at 3 am has never actually tried to do it.
I was in my pajamas checking my email one last time before bed when I noticed a note congratulating Nate on his recent appearance in People magazine. Beauty and the Geek in People?! This I had to see. It was 3 am, but I figured I could afford a five-minute trip to 7-11.
Here is an artist’s rendition of the moment. There I am, excited about my magazine, on my way to 7-11.
I got to 7-11, browsed the magazine rack. Nothing. The checkstand.  Nothing again. Magazine rack again, then the checkstand. No People magazine? What gives?
OK, fine, 7-11 is out. Back on the road. I head to the Walgreens a couple miles away. But they’re out too. I swing by the Safeway across the street and they’re closed. But the CVS next door is open!
And out of People magazine.
Back on the road.
Giant Food is closed. But they do have a stairway at the end of the parking lot that looks just like an exit until you get really close. AAAAGGH!
I arrive at 7-11 number 2 around 3:15 am to find a dance party in progress. Two cute/drunk/high girls have convinced the store clerks to turn up their portable radio and are dropping it like its hot all over the store. I peer around the gyrations at the magazine stand and discover that I have found yet one more store with no copies of People magazine.
Luckily, there’s another Safeway down the street. Unluckily, it’s closed. Luckily, there’s a third 7-11 across the street from the Safeway. Of course, they don’t have a single copy of People either.
There’s 24-hour stores on every corner of this intersection. I head to the CVS on the third corner. They’ve got Cosmo, Vogue, Elle, O, but no People. I’m about ready to give up.
Fuck that! I am Niels, destroyer of worlds! And I want my People magazine! There is a Walgreens across the street and I go there.
And find a copy!
I eagerly opened the issue of People (there’s a sentence I never thought I’d write) and started flipping through it. Nothing about Beauty and the Geek, though. What gives? I made a second pass. There was one advertisement for the season premiere of Beauty and the Geek Three, but definitely no article about us.
It was then that it all fell into place. There was no article. The person who wrote the note confused Nate with the geek model in the ad. Yet another 3 am adventure chalked up to a miunderstanding. Still, I actually kinda enjoyed driving all over the place ridiculously late.  It felt almost like being back in college all over again.
15-minute superbitchez! December 29, 2006
Posted by Niels in : Links , 1 comment so far
I thought my 15-minute supergirls report was as good as it was going to get, but then I discovered Gizoogle.Â
On Sundays we cut our students a break n bring tha bitchez ta them. This is tha day when we bring in tha superbitchez. These is skanky bitchez that our students git ta F-L-to-tha-izzirt wit, just like in a bizzar, except this time, tha bitchez gizzy thiznem feedback. They T-to-tha-izzell them wizzy they feel – gangsta tha interaction fizzle creepy, or comfortizzles baller tha homey looks relaxed, or if he looks nervous.
Or how about:Â
Your thoughts?I shiznow up at tha hotel 10 minutes lata wit two bitchez in tow, n they do great. They were a shawty nervous at tha mackin’ but our students were so off tha hook that tha bitchez calmed R-to-tha-izzight dizzle n started giv’n bootylicious feedback , niggaz, better recognize.
PUA, naturally December 28, 2006
Posted by Niels in : Other, Photos , 4 commentsI don’t even know what this store sells.
Funny driver’s license photos December 27, 2006
Posted by Niels in : Links , 1 comment so far
I still think my license is better, but these are pretty good.
Merry Christmas December 25, 2006
Posted by Niels in : Personal , 2 commentsNo matter your religion or lack thereof, I hope you’re spending the holidays with someone special.
Your thoughts?