What women want August 24, 2006
Posted by Niels in : Dating coach, Links , trackbackThe current politically correct climate in the United States urges the androgenization of men and women. “Men and women are the same!” “Only sexists talk about the difference between men and women.” It’s a travesty.
I side more with David Deida (The Way Of The Superior Man
Women are wired to look for the alpha male. If they find a “sensitive new age guy” and whip him into submission, that unconscious voice in the back of their head starts to think, “Wait, if I can control him this easily, he must not be an alpha male after all.” And there goes the relationship. It’s why Brad and Angelina aren’t going to last.
It’s not a popular sentiment, but Nirpal Dhaliwal says it in this article (How feminism destroyed real men) with no holds barred.
“These are cardboard cut-out men who gush with empathy whenever their wives and girlfriends need to dump their professional stresses and female angst on them: weak and soulless men who haven’t the guts to make a mark themselves, who take the passenger seat in their women’s juggernaut journey to post-feminist Nirvana.”
Take a look. Dhaliwal’s definitely trying to push some buttons, but most of what he says is on the money. The one place we part ways occurs near the end, probably right about where you find yourself infuriated by his writing. It’s true that he probably saved his marriage that night, but what happens in the bedroom should stay in the bedroom.
Comments»
Unfortunately, I have to agree. Wouldn’t it be easier (albeit a lot less fun) if women just went for the “sensitive new age guy?”
I have to agree, as well. My boyfriend is definitely alpha. I have my own dominant tendencies, and I’m not really a shrinking violet as anyone I work with would tell you, but in a relationship, I’m most happy if the guy takes the lead.
But that doesn’t mean I put up with shit. I want a guy who can also be tender and caring and nurturing at times, without being a pansy. I think most women want to feel protected by their guy.
Now that I read this, it’s no wonder men get confused at times. It may be hard for alpha type guys to be nurturing, though somehow my boyfriend manages to do it without looking like a wuss.
Ah, society. There wouldn’t be any “sensitive new age guys” at all if society hadn’t spent the last decade telling us that was what women wanted. And now men who have been told their whole lives that there aren’t any differences between men and women are surprised that relationships don’t work when you treat your wife like just another one of the guys.
For what it’s worth, I am a firm proponent of non-needy vulnerability to strengthen a relationship.