How not to pick up a girl July 29, 2006
Posted by Niels in : Dating coach , trackbackI went out to dinner last night with two attractive female friends. One of them just got out of a relationship and is on the prowl, so when she saw an attractive guy across the restaurant, she did the “bathroom walk”. This is where a girl goes to the bathroom, and on the way back attempts to make eye contact with the object of her affection. My friend happens to be particularly cute, so she succeeded and smiles were exchanged.
Unfortunately, her guy, despite being 6 feet tall and full of muscle with strikingly chiseled male model good looks, lacked the confidence to approach. Instead, a few minutes later, one of his female friends came over to ask my friend if she was single. My friend confirmed that she was, and his friend invited us out with them and left with the good news.
The interesting thing was that sending his friend over almost worked. Just doing that was so much more than most guys would do that my friend was still impressed. (Imagine if he had the balls to come over himself!)
The truly bad pickup didn’t start until he came over as he was leaving the restaurant.
Did really well:
- Looks even more handsome up close.
Needs work:
- Leans way in to talk to my friend
- Completely ignores me (whose opinion do you think she’s going to ask as soon as you leave, buddy?)
- Doesn’t make any effort to get to know my friend (it would have been so much smoother if you just asked to borrow her for five minutes)
- Doesn’t have a pen (Of course, I did, and passed it over without even being asked. Dude, I was rooting for you! And you couldn’t even say thank you.)
- Gets the number and leaves immediately (You’re not after the number, you’re after the girl. Talk to her!)
Yeah, he was hot. Yeah, he looked like a model. But attraction is fleeting. The classic analogy is seeing a Ferrari driving down the street. You look at it and think, “Wow, what a beautiful car!” But you’re not going to wake up the next morning thinking about it. If you test drive a Ferrari, on the other hand, you’ve made an emotional connection. That’s a car you’ll remember tomorrow. Unless you can connect with a girl on an emotional level, she’s not going to remember you at the end of the night. My friend didn’t.
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